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After almost always having thought of myself as a girly girl, I found it strange how I could never relate to any of the topics when some individual randomly allowed me into this private Facebook group full of women. At first I thought it a brilliant idea, we can exchange knowledge about the struggles of being women and we can give advice.
However before long it turned out that that was not the case. I had to realize that this group was some sort of vagina-cult mostly incorporating women from the East of England. It was rather entertaining, it still is sometimes but since I'm not a 16 year old new mum, nor do I have an obsessions with piercings, tattoos, nails or self-tanning — I have no clue as to who thought me to be a part of this community.
They have rants against men regularly and how their spouse, baby daddy or boyfriend screwed them over which again is not something I would do I public or on the Internet. While I think validation seeking is completely normal, I do oppose women reinforcing their own paranoia.
There is an absolutely amazing side of it where women are supportive of issues such as anxiety, depression and they open up about other mental health issues via anonymous posts supervised by the admins. Since interestingly enough none of these people seem to be more than a mere layman concerning the medical profession, unfortunately the promotion of every sort of voodoo cure is not an uncommon occurrence.
I have a love hate relationship with this group...I do love the drama it feeds into the feel-good part of the self-assuredness that I don't have to deal with their problems but I also hate it because there is no better proof how misinformation can be perpetuated through stupidity and lack of knowledge. Yet somehow I can't leave. This is my type of Jeremy Kyle, I guess it's just not scripted. It is something I indulge in and something that annoys me.
I cannot say that over the year I've been a part of this group anyone has ever come up with a legitimate topic that would've made me engage with this community.
Just to illustrate why I will give a detailed account of some of the elevated discourses that occur on this platform.
1. Middle of winter, woman is pregnant with child and is unhappy with her pale skin tone. Proceeds to ask community as to whether it's okay to go to a tanning salon while pregnant. Vehement opposition, suggestions to buy cream on basis of the increased absorption of the skin during pregnancy.
On a side note, UV rays are absorbed by the skin the same way the chemicals in tanning creams are. Not sure which one is worse, but in some cases and especially in winter pregnancies it is advised to go for a short UV therapy since vitamin D is essential for the correct creation of bone structure. Since in winter months the mum gets less, the baby gets less too. Therefore if you just got out when there's some sun in the winter it might be beneficial, if you live in a place where the godforsaken weather is a bitch that's when tanning salons can be advised. Not for tanning purposes though. Vitamin D production purposes.
2. Woman posts "All men are idiots" or something along those lines but harsher), absolute yay-saying. Turns out she always gets a-the-fuckboys and she finds this unfathomable. My dear friend points it out that maybe it's her who should change her ways instead of blaming guys for treating her the way they do. Shitstorm ensues. Tides of angry women well up and spill over the comments of the single post and my friend is buried under it for the same exact thing I was thinking.
Now this escalated to the girl thinking that my friend insinuated that her misfortune was something that she was asking for, and let's be fair she allowed those men to treat her that way and I was always the advocate of "only those things can hurt you that you give the power to hurt you." This further escalated into so "it's my fault that my boyfriend abused me for years then." Which was soooooo far from what anyone was saying. No, abuse is not okay. No one Ben remotely noted at it being okay. I do think that within such a relatively small community to have so many women who have been abused by their boyfriends cannot be coincidental. And it was a surprising amount. Either their definition of what constitutes as abuse is verrrrry loose or there's an increased amount of men who see violence as a solution because they have not been taught how to communicate their anguish otherwise or...Dare I say it?
Violence is never okay in any situation but I can imagine some of these women provoking their significant others until they have no other way of making them understand but getting physical. Whether that's because the men don't have the verbal tools or because they're at the brink of having an aneurism I can't know. Again, that does not justify violence. Neither verbal nor physical. I will engage in a battle of unyielding mean staring with anyone who disagrees.
So the last one is the one the made my blood boil so I'll try and proceed with a level head but it is a true peak of human ignorance and this woman's capability of comprehension of what she's done was borderline Aspergers level. And I have information that said individual was not a sufferer of the condition therefore her inability to comprehend this is not the often debilitating condition of the syndrome.
3. Woman posts about how she literally sold the house over her spouse and his daughter saying that they could come and live with her in the interim between finding a new home for the both of them. She excuses herself with the blanket statement of being considerate about her boyfriend's mental health issues.
I'm sorry but this is infuriating. It triggered the best of the velociraptor sisterhood and this absolute imbecile got shamed for days. Fortunately other women have the decency and as it seems some semblance of common sense to detect that this is just diabolical. I'm not questioning her intentions behind the offer, but she should've goddamn come through on it as well.
If it was only the guy himself it would've been goddamn vile. However what she's done anyway but to condemn a little girl for life on the streets potentially is just beyond words.
These are the most salient cases that I've noted so far. They usually go back to the general topics I've seen hundreds of positive pregnancy tests posted as well as long conversation off of certain dating websites with men propositioning them as well as weird rashes on babies.
It is an amazing demonstration of the colourful spectrum of female personality, and a great picture of the times we live. These are the topics that interest women. It does make sense now who the base demographic of Cosmo are and why I couldn't relate to a single post there but also why it's almost a perverse pleasure to entertain myself with the lives of others as other human beings would too with reality TV.
One time we'll be over the joy drama gives us and we'll start focusing on our lives...