Woman to Woman, What Can You Learn from Someone You Don’t Like?

Sometimes we simply just don't get on with others, but are forced into environments where we can't avoid them. Verity Brown explores how annoyance and judgement can be replaced with understanding and growth.

I must admit, the news that two of Sex and the City’s most loved actresses have a lot of issues, animosity, and possibly hatred between them, really broke my heart.

I ADORE the show that follows four women in the heart of NYC, figuring out men, Manolo's, and masturbating (to name but a few mmm's). Currently being a single woman, it gives me a rest bite from a world of plus ones and Facebook false perfect relationships, and let’s me escape for a while, giggling and crying in equal measure.

There is always going to be tension between some women. It’s not nice, but it's natural. The bitchy gene. That’s why I chose to go to a co-ed school 20 years ago and last year hoped the next person recruited to the woman-heavy marketing team I worked in was a man. As women, if you click, it’s the most beautiful thing ever, but if you don’t, depending on the dynamics of the relationship, it can be truly painful.

I always advise the women I work with (as clients) to step away from anyone who brings negativity into their lives, and if they can't fully remove, then to limit the time spent with them. But what if you have no choice? What if you live or work with a woman you just do not see eye to eye with and it’s really hard work constantly? It drains you. It fills you with dread seeing her or, at worse, moments of contact are littered with bitchiness and nastiness.

Now, I do not know who is right or wrong in the Cattrall vs Parker debate. I admire both of the women equally. One of the hardest things to swallow regarding this story is the fact these women are in their 50s and 60s. Does that mean female friction will always be present? I was hoping we would all grow out of it. They are both very intelligent, independent women, so it must be something really deep for it not to have been put to bed by now.

However, let's bring us back to the real world, away from million dollar paychecks and column inches. Say you are in a situation where you have to spend more time than you like with a woman who you just do not gel with. What do you do? There may not be heart-breaking hatred, but there will be friction, disagreeances, opposite end of the spectrum-type situations. What do you do? You learn! 

Start delving, honey. Take a look inside you and ask why this relationship is so difficult. Is it as basic as you are just two totally different types of women? Or can this annoyance help you learn something about yourself? Is there judgement there? Some jealousy? Why is that present? Can you do anything to change that? Do you want to?

We all end up in uncomfortable situations, and what it does is it helps us grow. It helps us strengthen our minds and it helps us understand ourselves better and be grateful for the beautiful women we truly love. It's an opportunity for you to positively question your opinions and character and try and expand with the lessons you learn.

In the case of Kim and SJP—I really don’t think there is a Cosmopolitan in the world strong enough to resolve their situation.

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Woman to Woman, What Can You Learn from Someone You Don’t Like?
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