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I know that a lot of readers here are from across the pound, so maybe you aren’t aware of some of the horrific things taking place in the UK.
Towards the end of last year, there were two rape trials, one in Scotland and one in Ireland.
In each of these trials, victims underwear was paraded around the court room. They were used as evidence. Not evidence against the accused. Evidence against the victim.
Apparently your choice of underwear now determines if you were asking for it.
One of those women commit suicide after the ordeal.
If you’ve read my “How to Survive Sexual Assault” blog, you might realise why this upsets me to such an extent.
Even without my experiences though, even if I just looked at this situation from the view point of a blank canvas, I’d still be disgusted.
How many of you take a close look at your underwear drawer in the morning? How many of you pick out your favourite pair of lace pants, or a thong whenever possible? How many of you decide at that point you want to be attacked and raped?
If you look at the featured image, you will see the notices protesters are putting on tags in stores.
Would you feel comfortable knowing your friends were wearing these underwear? How about your mothers, sisters, or daughters?
If they were to be attacked by a predator, would you shrug and tell them they obviously deserved it because of the knickers they buy?
Then why are we doing this to women in court rooms?
Quite frankly, I don’t care if they were walking around stark naked. “No” means “No.” A victim is never “asking for it.”
You do not touch someone without consent.
I read a quote recently from an incredibly clever person.
“Everything becomes clear when you compare rape to being hit with a spade and sex to gardening. You seem to really like sex, are you sure you didn’t want to be raped = you seem to really like gardening, are you sure you didn’t want him to hit you with that spade.”
Yes, I am pretty bloody sure.
Enjoying an activity does not give someone the right to violently use the tools of that activity against you!
What is wrong with people.
I don’t go around to my Grandma’s and stab her with her knitting needles because she enjoys knitting!
If you have sons, nephews, brothers, or men in your life, bring this up with them. Ask them their thoughts and if they relay anything other than the above, take a minute to educate them.
No, it is not a woman’s job to educate a man on things that are common sense, but we have to do something, and let’s face it, a woman might thank you for that time you spent teaching the men in your life manners (if they don’t already have manners and sense).
I am lucky I married a man who called out his training provider at work the other day for claiming that only men do manual handling and only men are capable of lifting heavy things. There is hope!
He is as repulsed by these cases as I am.
So, it is 2019 and I have felt compelled to write the above post. I still have to defend feminism to people. I hear a lot of, "Aren't feminists just men-hating angry women?" We don't hate men (mostly), we hate inequality and things like this is what makes us angry. It's sad that people are under the impression that women are equal now. If I'm writing these blogs, we aren't anywhere near equal.