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Why It Isn't a Scary Time for Men

You will always have the upper hand.

You see your friend post about how a man followed her all the way home and asked for her number. You look into the comment section and it's usually 50/50. One side is other women telling their stories of men following them being followed home, being too scared to say no to a guy at the bar because she's scared he might become violent, being touched without consent, trying to move away and men tightening their grip. The other 50% is men telling you, "Well it's not all men."

Yes, but it's enough that I will never go out past eight o'clock unless someone else is with me. It's enough that women feel like they cannot go out and drink out of fear that they will be drugged and raped. Even if she does choose to report the chance are that he will not face any jail time. "He as a bright future! Why are you trying to ruin his life?" people will say, as well as, "You should learn to keep your legs closed." "I guess you shouldn't have worn that dress," and, "This is a lesson for next time." 

I am disgusted that men think it's scary for them. I have been followed home by men, I have been harassed by men way older than I, thinking they have the right to touch my back, my hands, my face, my butt. They don't, but I am always too scared to say anything other than, "Oh my boyfriend's coming to get me." That is the only time they leave. Men need to learn that no means no. It's 2018 for god's sake, I shouldn't have to say that I have a boyfriend. If I or any woman, girl, or femme, is looking around and is acting scared, leave her alone. You are not entitled to her space, her time, or her body.

If you are so dense that you can't pick up context clues, such as me moving away from you, looking around, or checking my phone, take the god damn hint and go away.

If you see a girl with headphones on, leave her alone. If you see a girl walking alone, LEAVE HER ALONE. I can almost guarantee she doesn't want some random dude following her home or trying to get her to take her headphones off. 

It's always going to be a scary world for women. Nothing will ever change.

Look at the USA, they elected a rapist as president, they elected a rapist to be a judge in the supreme court of law, they let a rapist walk free after three months of serving time because he had a bright future.

Well what about the women they abused and raped? What do they get? Death threats, more rape threats, men threatening to beat them and kill them. Media and men love to say they are doing it for attention, or ask why didn't she go to the police sooner? Why do you think? More often than not, it is because the people around her told her to stay quiet, that she was drunk, that nothing will happen if they go to the police. So even if a woman decides to come forward with an allegation 40 years later, still believe her. I will always stand in solidarity with rape victims, abuse victims and the victims who never make it too see their rapist go to jail. 

Women don't owe you anything, ever. Men will always have the upper hand, they will always choose to help other men instead of victims. 

You know why women never come forward? It's because ever since we are little we are taught that men chasing us, forcing to kiss and hold hands, not taking no for the answer that this is "just how boys are." It needs to stop now. This way of thinking is why women don't come forward, and the ones who do are usually told they're doing it for attention.

If a woman in your life tells you that she has been abused or raped and you told her you didn't believe her, now the rest of the women in your life know where you stand when it comes to accusations and that you will never believe her.

It needs to stop. Start believing women when they tell you things, support them, tell them you care. 

If you take anything from this, it should be to stop raping us and start believing us. 

If you're scared about this, imagine how women have felt for years.

Believe us. Please.

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Why It Isn't a Scary Time for Men
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