Why I Don’t Shave

I don’t shave my underarms.

Right now some of you are mentally giving me high fives, raising your fist to cheer me on and cursing the beauty standards that making shaving your underarms so important. Others literally gagged a little and may have stopped reading because you think this is another stand against the patriarchy and their beauty standards. It’s not.

The truth is that I don’t shave because I’m too damn lazy. No, seriously. I know all I have to do is lift my arms one at a time while I’m showering, but also I could... not. So I don’t.

Usually, no one sees my underarms anyway. If there is an event where I will be wearing a top with small or no sleeves, I consider the likelihood that I’ll need to raise on arm over my head. If the probability is high, I grumble a little and find one of those 97¢ razors and get after it.

Now I know someone just tried to tell me through the screen that I don’t have to shave. I can lift my arms and show off my God-given body hair and screw that outdated urge to reveal soft, hairless skin. But here’s the thing, I don’t like body hair. I want soft, hairless underarms, legs, etc. I just hate shaving.

I hate shaving so much I paid for laser hair removal for the bottom half of my legs. (By the way, it was expensive, painful and I still have to shave about every six weeks if I want to be hairless. I wouldn’t recommend it)

All I’m saying is that my personal idea of beauty does not include underarm hair. In 2015, there was a rather pointed movement to “reduce societal pressure on women to shave" their underarms with their justification being that the beauty standard was set by men (Associated Press). In February 2017, there was another “No Shave” event for women and their underarms. The aim of both was for women to “embrace” their body hair and to reduce societal pressure to shave. Because for some reason, we needed organized movements with celebrities to tell us it was okay to have hairy underarms.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not bashing these movements or the ideas behind them. I simply think it’s silly that we need justification to forget about the razor. Yes, I did admit earlier that I shave because I think I am more attractive when I shave. That is what is called a personal preference.

Kindly refrain from accusing me of “supporting the patriarchy” or “undermining positive change” because that is not what I’m doing. It’s okay to shave, it’s okay to not — regardless if it is for a movement or out of laziness.

What I’m really getting at is my opinion. I find beauty in silky smooth, hairless skin. Others may find it in au natural hair. Fine. Great. Please don’t ask me to tell you that your brightly dyed underarm hair is attractive (or any underarm hair for that matter). It is not a shot at you. It is a preference.

I also don’t prefer certain facial piercings, uneven haircuts, and the dad bod. Please don’t call me a bigot. Please stop telling people they are wrong for not desiring to date people with certain physical characteristics. Yes, including folks that are overweight.

Before I continue let me clarify: people are physically attracted to other people in a way that they often have no control over. Admit it, the last person you had a crush on was cute, right? I’m not trying to body shame anyone, but if your terrible haircut makes you unattractive to me, am I wrong? No. And neither are you. Rock that haircut, man (or woman).

If you are gearing up to write a rebuttal saying that I, in effect, just gave people a license to judge others based on their appearance, or that I just snubbed the entire movement to love yourself and to accept everyone regardless of their physical characteristics — wait. I am not giving anyone a license to bully another based on the appearance of their body — weight, color, or otherwise. I am simply stating that beauty is an opinion.

Arizona’s deserts, for example, can be viewed as a barren wasteland or as a majestic display of life’s triumph over the most inhospitable conditions. Do I think Arizona is gorgeous? Only some parts, and I have zero desire to live there. Why can’t we view beauty in the same way?

It’s okay to say “I don’t prefer that.” It’s okay to dress or not dress a certain way — but don’t get offended when someone else doesn’t like it. We all hope that the person that doesn’t like your shoes won’t be an asshole about it but we cannot guarantee they won’t be. Don’t make it worse by being an asshole back, because saying “It isn’t okay that you don’t like my shoes” is the same as “I don’t like your shoes so it isn’t okay for you to wear them” and neither of those are okay.

Let’s all try a little harder to not be an asshole, and also work on not allowing yourself to be offended. We don’t need a celebrity movement to remind us to not be assholes, but if it helps then someone please call Hollywood.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” - Eleanor Roosevelt