Why Female Friends Are Important

My earliest memories are being in a male dominated house. My mom worked a bunch so I was with my brothers and dad most of the time. We played wrestling, played make believe kings & knights, and I watched a lot that influenced me into the idea that wives are nagging and never want to have fun. I never wanted to be that person. I started to think that other girls are the enemy and to impress a guy, you need to be like a bro... but a bro that you kiss. I was too young to know what it meant but these influences gave me the idea that I need to be of "loose morals" in order to keep a balance of being a friend and romantic prospect to men. These sound like terrible things to teacher a young girl. Who in their right mind would allow their child to believe this or watch anything that would give her that idea? Well, most people. My brothers and father weren't trying to teach me this nor did they know it was what I thought. It's a lesson we get fed to us by nearly all sit-coms revolving around a patriarch and his family. The wife is a drag, the man is a horndog, and we don't see very much actual love in the marriage. The deepest connections are between a man and his friends while women's relationships are almost always toxic. They fight over the men, they talk behind each other's backs and the teenage girls in the show are told that if you're a prude you won't find love and the "pretty" girls will wind up unhappy in their latter lives.

This way of thinking is wrong and leads to a life of continuously needing approval from men that you are good enough, that you outrank the other women, and you are worthy of being partner so as long as you keep trying to be everything they could dream up in a women. I saw every girl as a potential threat. All of my friendships had a hint of wishing less for them. It took me years to finally ask the question I should have asked in the first place.

Why do I not want to be like other girls? I had met many girls in my life and despite being told otherwise, they were lovely. Is being like other girls bad because we're suppose to be inherently bad? If so, I must be meeting a lot of exceptions to this.

After thinking about it, I knew I needed to make a change. I had to unlearn the jealousy and competitiveness I had for my fellow woman. If I said I didn't fail, I'd be lying. I still caught myself being upset because a girl was prettier than me or was speaking to someone I liked. In reality, I'm still working on being a better sister to the women I met.

When gave myself permission to have deep relationships with females and see them as my equal, I found something remarkable. I found people who could relate to my struggles and would do all the things men in my life would call too girly and refuse to partake in. I found an appreciation I had never been given previously. With women, affection is common place. Asking to be hug or cuddled is understandable and harmless. Hyping up the pictures a friend posted is just the nice thing to do. It feels good to make them confident. When women are empowered we all win.