Why Crocs Need to Leave

As a child, I lived on an alpaca ranch with 24 different alpacas and llamas. At the time, I was a young girl and Hunter rain boots weren't appealing due to their significant lack of fun patterns. So instead of buying myself a decent pair of rain boots, I, or rather my parents, bought me a pair of Crocs. To be specific, they were bright, hot pink and we made sure to get the charms that you stuck to the top of the clogs in shapes ranging from flowers to hearts and everything in between. I became OBSESSED with the Crocs, along with the rest of my classmates. I distinctly remember my grade school squad and I getting matching swamp green Crocs and Shrek charms to go with them, mind you I was young and foolish. So why would someone with such fond memories of the iconic American brand, want to get rid of them? Because my friends, it has gone too far.

I was made aware that Balenciaga officially came out with their platform Crocs, shown by models on their prestigious runway. Now tell me, why the hell would a multi-million dollar company produce such an interesting piece of footwear? Is there some sort of secret betting pool between high fashion moguls for who can create the ugliest shoe? Is it all just a prank? Are these people actually just buying ugly shoes as a joke for their friends and them? Are they actually interested in wearing platform Crocs? I sure hope not, or I have lost more faith in the fashion industry than I hoped to ever lose.

Now I realize that recently it has become fashionable to wear such, clunky, pieces of footwear, but this does not mean that it actually looks good. A perfect example is Balenciaga's own Triple S Trainers that have taken the streets by storm. They look like shoes that my dad would wear when we go to Disneyland. To not insult anyone who does wear these shoes, I can see where the appeal is. They are colorful and everybody else is wearing them, however, as adults, we should not succumb to peer pressure and wear shoes that look like the velcro race car shoes of our childhoods. Even now, some of my adult classmates wear Crocs because of their easy access and casual aura they provide, but they don't realize how hideous it actually is, just because Balenciaga did it, doesn't mean you should too.

People, Crocs on the runway, especially platform Crocs, is far too much. Not only did Balenciaga debut their platform Crocs, which sold out through preorders at $850 a pop, but Christopher Kane also released marble Crocs with gemstones charms. First off, I would like to say that no matter how cute a shoe is, it definitely should not be almost $900. On that note, no Croc should ever bee almost $900 especially considering Crocs are known for their relatively low prices for decently good shoes. So thank you, Balenciaga, for not only creating a platform Croc but making it so expensive that I could buy 22 normal-priced Crocs with the same amount of money. And thank you, population, for encouraging Balenciaga to continue this clunky shoe by buying them all before they even hit the market. I may have appreciated my Crocs at one time in my life, but this is no longer that time.

I grew up and now appreciate the minimalistic style of Hunter and their compatriots. I made the right decision and trashed my hot pink Crocs long ago and replaced them with a solid pair of black heels. So I'm begging you, stop trying to bring Crocs back! Please, before you doom all of us to a future filled with marble, swamp green, or rainbow colored clogs.

Christopher Kane's Marble Crocs