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Who We Are

A Domestic Violence Awareness Piece

By Katlyn JacksonPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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It's almost 2018 and our voices are still not being heard. In a man-made world, we are still silent. Now from my experience, I have been through two of these situations. As a young woman, I am taught that my body is sacred. For it to be sacred though, I need to change this and that about my body. Be aware of my personality and say what they want me to say. We have grown up in an epidemic where social media has raised us. Women hide so much of their true self that when we try to identify who we really are, we just can't. My first relationship was in high school. In my mind, he was everything I wanted. But like most young men, they have something hidden and painful. Who doesn't have that though, at an age where everything is confusing? Anyways, it seemed like I always learned to take care of his needs before my own. In my mind I just thought I was being a great girlfriend but to him, it's the word submissive. He was the reason that I feared the things I use to love. In a world that already seems damaged, the plunge to hell was coming quicker. I was the girl who lied my way for him. I'd runaway to be with him yet runaway to be far from him. I'd tell friends that I had fallen or was just clumsy. I became distant to people who had always been there for me. I wasn't living my life anymore. When we broke up, I felt even lower. My bipolar disorder became intensified, the PTSD was settling hard in my thoughts and I just remember my life being blurry. He stalked me for a year. A freaking year of constant torture. "I love you, no wait I hate you." Back and forth we were with each other. I had to repair relations that I figured were damaged. I had really good friends at the time who helped me figure myself out again. Then I met my longest relationship to date. He was someone I met through my first and I wish I could of seen the signs. Now let me tell you, the ex did some damage to my mind mentally that I experienced drugs and became an addict to deal with the pain. I felt like he stole a part of my youth that I just needed to get back. So, partying, staying out late, drinking and getting high to let time go by. Yeah; that was my life for a bit until I met J. J seemed like he cared on a deeper level. We had a serious connection and we went through a lot together. Again, I was submissive with him. I tried pushing him to do better and want to be better. This just led me back to the same path of pain that I was trying to get rid of. I damaged relationships all over again, we were both full blown addicts, homeless a few times and everything you could imagine happened. He was my devil on both shoulders. The night he choked me to a point where I could of passed out made me question myself and why I would want to keep going through this. I eventually made a plan to get him out of my life but I'm still working on myself. I learned in my own experience that both my abusers were troubled teens. Someone had let them down and couldn't lift them back up. It is so hard for a young adult to face reality and then have society tell you it is your fault. You don't hear enough about the truth. Did you know 85% of women are more likely to be victims to domestic abuse than men? Scary thought right? That is someone's mother, daughter, niece, aunt, and friend. For the abuser, every 20 minutes you have laid physical abuse on a woman, have chosen 1 out 7 to stalk immensely. YOU became the 19% who used a weapon for fear. YOU, have impacted someone's physical and mental health. And more than half of them are 6ft under because you had issues and used it on them. ME, I wish there was more talk about what to do when you are in this type of relationship. I wish there was a better handle of this and more women would speak up for their selves. If you can't speak for yourself, speak out for the younger generation who looks up to you. Don't let them think that hiding a problem is a way of solving it. Don't let them think abuse and bullying, is a way of affection cause it's not. It takes 30 seconds to let someone know you are hurting and in danger. Don't let it be too late. Don't fake your own life to please someone else.

relationships
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About the Creator

Katlyn Jackson

26. Virginia Raised. Writer/Poetry. Aries. Advocate.

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