When Body Positivity Gets Ugly

I will start this piece in something of a matter-of-fact way. I am plus size. I always have been, and I likely always will be. This is not me resigning myself to some awful lifelong fate; this is me accepting my body for what it is – and loving it anyway. My height and my dress size have opened a lot of doors for me since I got on board the body positivity train when I was eighteen, including working with major plus size fashion retailers and model agencies. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing though, and despite my current dress size being a fairly consistent size 18, one phrase has stuck with me since I won the Simply Be Model Search in 2011.

“You’re not a real plus size woman.”

Firstly, by assuring you that I do in fact own a vagina and wear plus size clothes, I hope to dispel this notion that I’m not “real” – I exist, as do many other women my shape and size. I know my height, a model-standard 5ft 11in, makes me photograph thinner from particular angles, but I still class myself as plus size, simply because I’m not a size zero. That is, ultimately, what the fashion industry is about. Anything that is beyond their standard sample size is considered “plus size,” even if it would be considered completely average in the real world. It’s an attitude many models are trying to change, starting with many shunning the very phrase “plus size” — I personally don’t use it when marketing myself as a model, swapping it out in favour of “curvy” or just plain “model.” As a movement, Body Positivity does incredible things for women (and men, although this piece does focus on women) who have been told for years that something about their appearance makes them less attractive. Anything that encourages people to stop being so negative about things they often cannot change should be something I'd welcome with open arms. Should...

The problem with certain sections of the Body Positive movement, from my experience, is that you’re only allowed to be Body Positive if you’ve aligned with their idea of beauty — which makes the people in those small sections hypocritical, among other things. My understanding of the Body Positive movement is that it is designed to make everyone feel beautiful and confident, regardless of their height, skin colour, dress size, personal style or anything else. How can these people claim to advocate Body Positivity if they are saying someone is too thin to model for a plus size retailer? That isn’t positivity, that’s shaming. Shaming is not okay, and if I see it, I call it out. It is no different to saying someone is too big to model for a brand that only sells “straight size” products, or that someone is too short to model at all. You just wouldn’t do it, would you?

Another negative I’ve experienced from the Body Positive movement’s hypocritical section is how bad I’ve been made to feel for deciding to make healthy lifestyle changes, including overhauling my nutrition and beginning a gym regime. I’ve been banned from social media groups for plus size women for having the audacity to say I enjoy working out and eating healthily, even if it means losing weight. It doesn’t exactly encourage a positive relationship with your body if people criticise you for listening to what it needs! Weight loss is not even my primary target — I won’t complain if I lose a few inches, but my own fitness journey is far more about regaining my strength and rediscovering what my body is capable of. Oh, and I chose the programme I am a member of because of their commitment to charity fundraising. So far, the group has funded an entire medical trial for patients with an incredibly aggressive form of blood cancer.

Society is becoming increasingly open to Body Positivity — even magazines like Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition are promoting a diverse range of models in their shoots and it is so hard to convey how refreshing that is for me to see. Models like Ashley Graham and Iskra Lawrence are blazing a trail, while models like Candice Huffine prove that physical fitness and being classified as “plus size” are not mutually exclusive. With that being said, their work is at risk of being undermined if people cannot stop body shaming each other, or continue to trade one unhealthy set of ideals for another.

I find it very hard to sit here and be so brutal about a movement I’d love to support unconditionally, but I simply cannot condone the sort of behaviour I’ve experienced online from people who claim to promote self-love, positive body image and diversity in fashion. As women, we already get a hard enough time from society — be it through unrealistic beauty standards or body types, or through a still-prevalent patriarchy. Let’s not add to those difficulties by being bitchy to each other. Words hurt, and they have a nasty habit of lingering in a person’s mind for a long time.