What’s Up with Her?

It seems like a lot these days we see a lot of domestic violence campaigns and awareness. I’m sure most of you have seen the advertisements on who to call in an emergency on the back of your public restroom doors at some point. Or have signed a permission slip to have your daughter or son attend a class or watch a certain movie in school about domestic violence. But what is actually happening? Why is it spreading around and why does it keep happening to younger and younger adults and why is it becoming normalized? This is my story as a 19-year-old female whose day to day life is a statistic in the signs on the back of those bathroom stalls.

Here is my story, Part 1

How it all started.

I’m going to call my significant other Patrick for identity to be kept a secret. We met in an alternative high school three years ago and were friends instantly. He was a year ahead of me and graduated early, so our contact was brief and short for a while after that. He was dating one of my friends, let’s call her Abby, so the only way we saw each other was through her. Long struggle short, they broke up and he and I started dating fairly quickly after. Our time after we started dating was inseparable. He’d come pick me up take me out every single day. He was everything I wanted, outgoing, adventurous, funny, and listened to me. He was always respectful and always made sure I had a smile on my face. The time we started dating around was in July, and the time things started getting weird was in October. So I had three months of pure bliss. This is called the “honeymoon stage.” At this time I was going through a lot of home life problems. I just turned 18 that August, and my mom, who is a whole other story, wanted me out of the house. So on October first, my friend Mia* picked me up and drove me and my stuff to her grandmother's house where they allowed me to live for a little while. Of course, teens being teens, Mia's parents were out of town for a week during the time I stayed there, so me and Patrick and Mia and Adam* all drove over to Mia's house and partied every day for a week. Mia and I were friends for the end of our senior year and became very close in the summer, and I knew a little bit about her and Adam's relationship, but she never shared exactly what was happening. Long story short, because this is their lives. He was abusive to Mia, so while we are all coming off the drugs we took the night before and dealing with our hangovers, me and Patrick saw firsthand the abuse our friend went into. It was awful the way they spoke to each other. The violence, it was something I didn’t comprehend at the time. This is no excuse for why Patrick is how he is now, but this was when I noticed a change in him. I think another issue is that one of our dear friends committed suicide as well during that time and Patrick was the one who found his body. Again, not an excuse, but just telling the background story of our relationship. After that month, things got weird. But we talked about moving in together and getting an apartment at where my mom was living because they were affordable and extremely close to our jobs. So we started saving up, and I could tell that the stress of him having to pay more than me because I wasn’t making a lot at my job was getting to him, and that’s when he first laid hands on me.

I will continue my story into parts until I come up to present day where I will continue to talk about life and what happens behind a closed doors.

Thank you for reading.