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Uniqueness or Culture Fit

The pressure of fitting into society and finding acceptance of reality

By Arielle CelestellePublished 5 years ago 5 min read
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Back in elementary, I was not known to be a "feminine" girl because I was doing things that not normally girls would do. I would volunteer in basketball and football games with the boys while most girls will play at the playground. Not to mention, for school sports events with teams, I would sign up for all main sports, and I would end up getting trophies for the best female player. I would get scouted by my sports coaches to participate in school teams just because my skills and passion for the sport were recognisable.

My young self had the intention of showing that girls have the capability of having the same kind of level as boys do. Therefore, at a very young age, I was already breaking the stereotype of a female.

By junior high, I was already in the school's swimming team, but this time, I was passionate and determined at it. However, as soon as I got older, I was more self-conscious of myself, as an average teenager. I realised that, since I was a competitive swimmer, I had an athletic body with broad shoulders and an overall muscular body physique.

My girlfriends were the complete opposite because they had small arms, thighs, waist, everything. It was also the period where models were the idea of "beauty," and because of this standard, I felt like I did not apply to it at all. That's when I was mentally challenged with life because, with an extensive amount of pressure from society, my life became a blur.

I restricted my food consumption because I wanted to be thinner, but it was too intense where I was not healthy anymore. My endurance and speed in swimming were gradually slowing down, disappointing everyone. I didn't find swimming enjoyable. The joy of being in the water disappeared; from 6 times a week of training to 3 times to none. My dreams of becoming a professional swimmer vanished just because I wanted to be "skinny" and accepted by everybody else.

I wasn't active on social media, and since most of my friends were active, I felt the need to be more present in social media. I get anxious when the likes of my posts are not as high as all of my friend's posts or the number of followers I have compared to my friends.

I was following outfit trends like tube tops and sweats, but I did not pull it off like how it looked on other people which made me feel like I was not "beautiful" enough to even fit in these types of outfits.

Looking back at my actions from the present is tragic and disheartening. It's undeniable that as a teen having this stress of being accepted can lead to many other problems. Well, it did. I ended up having an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, and many other issues that corrupted my teenage life.

However, it all comes down to that mistake of having an ideology of a society that it is necessary to be culturally fit.

It took me approximately four years to realise that the pressure never existed. I did not perceive that you can be whatever you want to be in life. It does not matter what is accepted by people, but you can bring your acceptance to the people.

I had a long process in forgiving and healing myself from the harm and mistakes I have done. It was rough, but it was worth the time to refresh my mindset that it is imperative to keep the joy and happiness of who you are and what you do in life.

You can be a follower. We humans, are naturally followers. However, to an extent, we do not need to be somebody whom we are not. We can get inspired and admire somebody's life or success to enhance our perspective, purpose, the goals of our own life. But we cannot obtain it to a level where we lose ourselves because when we get blinded with our actions, realizing the reality will make you go nuts. Well, after realising that I'm living in this "lie" of social media, beauty, and happiness, I was devastated. I could not bear the opportunities, friends, and memories I've missed.

But life will be fun when you make it fun. After I have hit rock bottom, I had the eyes of revival, and therefore I moved out of the country for my senior year to the United Kingdom, and I have found my victory of independence, self-love, happiness, love, and many more. I accepted my uniqueness and took the culture too. I did not find myself hating on the culture that I found toxic and damaging because I knew that it was all in my mind, an illusion.

Now, I can say that I am doing whatever makes me happy. I don't have the need to impress or reach people's expectations. I drive myself to reach my goals, and show the best of me not to anyone but myself. I only take action that will impress my future, past, and present self. I accepted my body that I am in and who I really am.

Negative statements are deleted in my mind: "I need to be just like her," "I have to wear this and that," "I have to be famous in social media," "I have to eat here," "I have to go out and drink," "I am not going to eat."

I encourage everyone to do the same because this little switch in perspective can make a difference.A change in view of yourself in terms of ability, dreams, happiness can change the view of life. Be yourself. Don't let your mind think you need to be accepted because it is tricking you.

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About the Creator

Arielle Celestelle

A young high school student who is expressing her life through stories.

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