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Being kind, charming and generous is easy for most of us when life is good. If time is abundant and there is plenty of money – if we’re loved, connected and have a purpose, most of us can bring our A-game. It’s not so easy when times are tough.
If we choose to be present in life, to be open to love and to strive for the things we want, we are going to meet disappointment – probably many times. And it can leave us feeling pain, sometimes physical – almost airless.
This may apply to you now – or in times ahead: as low as we can feel, this place down here on our knees is where we all learn who we really are. In the belly of disappointment, if you sit with your pain you’ll discover resilience and courage quietly waiting there for you to rise again.
The greatest amongst us have failed and failed again; muscle fibre must be ripped to be rebuilt stronger – and so must you. You can choose victim or warrior, the choice is yours and will define how you face the days to come. Here, some ideas on handling disappointment and rising again.
Be Curious About Your Feelings
First thing’s first. Get past the big three: blame, anger and righteousness, which we use to deflect pain like Wonder Woman’s golden wristbands. Underneath those red hot emotions used to protect yourself, sits your warrior heart, tender – exposed and strong. Examine your feelings of shame, fear, rejection and despair; where do they come from? They hurt like hell, but they won’t kill you. Unpack them, feel them; a lot of the sting will pass when you have examined the worst.
We put so much energy into not feeling raw and painful emotions, yet the quickest way to let them go is to stop resisting them.
This is not about dwelling in a dark place; this is about facing your fear and seeing it for what it is; the sooner you do, the sooner you’ll take flight again.