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To the Girl Struggling With Body Image

I promise, it gets better.

By Grace D'AprilePublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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You will always be more than enough.

To the girl struggling with body image,

One of the most important things I have learned in my short 19 years on this earth, is that loving yourself is 100 percent unnegotiable and necessary if you ever want to be happy. Truly happy. If you were to ask 12-year-old me to name anything about herself that she unconditionally loved, her list would consist of absolutely nothing. Granted, 12 is a hard age for just about anyone, but the idea that the entirety of your worth came solely from your physical appearance was so engrained into 12-year-old Grace’s head, that it stuck, and unfortunately followed her everywhere for a long time. For everything and anything that went wrong in my life throughout my middle/high school years, I somehow found a way to blame it on the way I looked. I would avoid meeting new people for the fear that they would think I was ugly. I would avoid standing up for myself for the fear that someone might use the word fat as a comeback, and slowly but surely, my obsession with being as beautiful as I thought I should have been completely overrode the outgoing, smart person that was underneath. This mindset later developed into an eating disorder known as bulimia nervosa. For a long time, my relationship with food, my body, and self-control was not only unhealthy, but it hindered me completely from seeing everything in my life that I should have been thankful for. After being in recovery from my eating disorder for almost two years now, I like to keep a journal to be able to look back on the lessons that stood out to me the most when it came to really changing the way I viewed the world. These are a few of the most important ones:

#1 Social Media CAN be toxic.

We are told constantly, mostly by those who didn’t grow up with it, that social media is a dangerous thing, and most of us brush it off as an exaggeration. Social media is amazing in the sense that information is spread, and people can connect and share ideas, but it’s crucial to keep in mind how much it can distort the way we see ourselves and our lives. It is scientifically proven that the more we see an image, the more we admire and accept that said image. When we stare at pictures of unrealistic beauty, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Sometimes achieving whatever the image contains is just completely unrealistic. TIP: Unfollow shallow beauty. Follow women who have a message, women with beauty that also shines from their character. Follow women who look like you! Follow artists, musicians, and authors. Follow women because you admire them, not just because you wish you looked like them.

#2 Don’t let other people determine how you see yourself.

The only person who needs to understand, and approve of who you are, is you. We are raised in a way that normalizes these levels of popularity. I’m not talking about cookie-cutter-mean-girls type of stuff, but underneath the normal flow of growing up, there is a pull to fit in, and we tend to compare ourselves to whoever may seem as though they are at the top. It’s hard to break this thought process, especially when it somewhat follows you to college, and into the “real world,” but the one thing you have to continuously remind yourself is that when it comes down to it, people will decide if they want to be around you based on the way you treat them. It’s still astonishing to me that a 20-something-year-old frat guy with a receding hairline still has the power to deplete the self-esteem of some of the most beautiful girls I know. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE AMOUNT OF MEN THAT DEEM YOU FUCKABLE AT THE BAR. Please, say that to yourself about 80 times a day, because it’s probably the truest statement I’ve heard to this day.

#3 Invest in yourself.

Now, I am all for loving yourself the way your mama made you, but when I talk about investing in yourself, a huge part of that is practicing self-care. Self-care is not binge eating every unhealthy food you can think of, or lying in bed all day long because you are upset. Self-care is making sure you feel as good as you can, even when something bad happens in your life. Fill your body with nutrients, exercise, even if it’s just walking outside, try new things, and discover hobbies you never knew you wanted to have. Spend time getting to know yourself, not just the person you are with your friends. Figure out what your values are, what is important to you, and stay true to those things.

With that being said, when it comes to taking care of yourself, don't forget that the occasional indulgence is also an important part of keeping you sane. Try as hard as you can to let yourself experience things without the constant insecurity lurking in the back of your mind. The voice in your head telling you that you’re not enough may seem loud, but in time, with effort, the voice will eventually leave you alone. Struggling with body image is something that is so widely dealt with that it sometimes gets pushed to the backburners of things we should talk about. Body image effects not only your mood, but the entire quality of your life if you let it. Help yourself, invest in yourself, love yourself, and always remember that you are more than enough.

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About the Creator

Grace D'Aprile

Im a self love enthusiast. Always choose kind.

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