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So how many times have you said to yourself that "this is the last time," only to find the cycle starting over again? How many times have you beaten yourself up because of mistakes that you made, because your heart was wired different and you cared about not caring? Does that make you stupid or an idiot—because, instead of calling or texting that ex, you rather suffer the moment of pain and flashes of memories, then end up right back at "I can't do this no more." Society has us think that because we choose to be upfront and call someone out on their buffoonery that we are bitter, hurt, and scorn. No, just fed up and tired of three, or four, or even 12 chances, when time after time, the red flags were there, yet we beloved in our heart say "this time is different."
The way the media portrays relationships is as if we have to become desperate enough, or submissive enough, to be in one. Let’s take for example, you like a guy and he likes you, however, you present yourself as a lady—but on his mind is "how far can I push her?" Now, saying that you have already peeped the script because you called him out on his mannerisms, he starts to change his whole mood and now his vibe is distant. Now, him already being who he is—he just showed you who he is—and so, he's decided to put you in a category, "friend" or "bitter b****." Now, this is all because you didn’t present yourself in the way he seemed to be presented.
Ladies, you don't need that. Know this. Any man who wants you will do just that—want you. Men are hunters, providers, protectors, and they are willing to fix whatever it is that is needed if they truly are what you are for... love, protection, and guidance. I believe we live in a society now where "do me" has taken a different approach and carries a different meaning. Yes, you can have a "do me" attitude, however, when all of me is done, what left will you have to give.
Think about the last relationship, or even your current one, and think hard.
What do you see that you could change? Made better, or made worse. Have you grown or are you still standing still? If you're not in a relationship, no matter how good or bad it ended, what "thing," either negative or positive, would you take from it? Put it in a box wrap it with a bow and place it in safe keeping until you hit that same "thing" again. Will it have changed or will it remain the same?
In the end, ladies, just know that to know your worth doesn't go by your body. It goes in what you carry in it. Your heart, mind, and soul. Treat those three things right, feed it the right positive mindset, friendships, and understanding. Then watch it grow and carry that on to those ladies around you. Bitterness is a poison that will suck the life out of you—if you allow it to.
I know it hurts, and that sometimes you feel as if nothing will take the pain away, that no one will hear your cries, but just know... ladies, don't stress it, don't believe the hype. Don't fall victim to being in the contours of someone else's box. Never settle for mediocre because you are a queen and a prize to be won.
Find your crown and wear it. Open your heart and dear it. Listen to your voice and share it.