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Things Every Feminist Should Ask on a First Date

Making sure you and your date are on the same page is an important step in establishing a relationship. Here's a list of some things every feminist should ask on a first date.

In today's day and age, it is an interesting concept to consider why men are weird about strong women. When feminists try to build close relationships with people and begin dating, it is more serious than a normal dating situation because of feminism's inert strength and direction. Every intersectional feminist has strong views and wants a partner who is an accomplice in the fight against white supremacy, the patriarchy, queerphobia, and misogyny. Everyday feminism can be extreme, but people who go beyond allyship and are true accomplices can be found in the world if you know what questions to ask. Personal is political in the world today when our world is so divided. To get close to someone, we must know where everyone stands on important issues. Here are things every feminist should ask on a first date, so they don’t waste any time!

What is your stance on the Black Lives Matter movement?

The Black Lives Matter movement is something every feminist should ask about on a first date because it addresses issues regarding white people and the fight against white supremacy. Before we get close to someone, we want to know if they are accomplices in the fight against racism and prejudice, which continue to be seen every day in our society. Feminism today supports the equality of all people, not just women. Black lives matter just as much as white lives, and queer femme of color are the smallest minority of any group. Every intersectional feminist wants a partner who understands how important these issues are.

How do you define consent?

This question is one of the best things every feminist should ask on a first date because consent is an extremely important issue today between men and women. Close relationships with people involve a strong sense of trust. Consent is something two people must communicate clearly together about. Everyday feminism involves human understanding what consent is and what it isn’t.

What are your views on abortion?

Abortion is a touchy subject for many, but every feminist should ask this on a first date if she is serious about finding a partner because it’s an important issue. Before we get close to someone, we need to understand how they think about a woman’s body and if they feel that women have the right to their own choices. Everyday feminism supports women’s choice over her body, and every intersectional feminist is going to want a man who is an accomplice in the fight against pro-life programs who want to take away funding for women’s health and abortion clinics.

What movies and books have you been into lately?

A much lighter question that every feminist should ask on a first date relates to movies and books. This question is less in depth; however, the movies and books a person reads can give you a lot of insight into their interests and characteristics as a person. Before we get close to someone, we want to know if they have depth, and if they share our common interests. This question will surely let you know if this person is on the same page as you in some way.

How do you define gender and sexual orientation?

This is one of the things every feminist should ask on a first date, especially if you’re a queer femme of color, because queerphobia and misogyny is very present in the world today. Before we build close relationships with people, we need to make sure we know how they feel about us as well as others around us. If we can find someone who understands that all humans are equal regardless of their sexual orientation or gender, then we will know that they are true accomplices in the fight against prejudice, and they are someone worth pursuing further.

Do you believe humans can be illegal?

This is a great question every feminist should ask on a first date to spark an interesting conversation. This will set apart the people who go beyond allyship. The conversation can go into whether humans can be illegal if borders are all made up. In the end, humans are all equally human, and the earth is just one piece of land. This is a great philosophical discussion to have with your date!

Do you think men can be feminists?

Ask your date if he thinks men can be feminists, and ask if he considers himself to be a feminist. This is a great question every feminist should ask on a first date because it will show you how your date sees everyday feminism and how he sees himself placed within that space. Men absolutely can be feminists because feminists simply believe in the equality of all people, so hopefully you can discuss with your date how great it is to see proud men feminists in the world today.

What are your views on sex work?

This is a very interesting question that every feminist should ask on a first date if they want to make the conversation exciting. Your date may not know how to answer this question or may be shocked by you asking it. Many feminists in the world today support sex work because they believe that it supports women’s right to do what she wants with her body. There are, however, many people who do not support sex work because they think it undermines women and supports the patriarchy. This topic, should it arise, must be a nonjudgmental discussion. Opinions can go both ways, and it can be an intriguing discussion to have.

What are you doing to proactively fight for the cause?

This is a great question that every feminist should ask on a first date to gage whether your date is really interested in fighting for women’s rights and for human’s rights. Did your date go to the women’s march? Do they vote? Even the smallest things can cause you to have some added respect for them. The personal is political, and you want them to be on the same page as you.

What are your views on feminism?

If you want your date to be a little more lighthearted, and want to bypass some of the heavier questions, every feminist on a first date should just ask this simple question, “What are your views on feminism?” It’s to the point, and it’s not too intimidating. With this question, it shows your date who you are, and their answer will surely show you who they are. Feminism is still important in 2018, after all. 

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