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The following story may get emotional and dark. Viewer discretion is advised. All of the events in this writing are things that really happened to me.
At approximately 6:12 on the morning of August 13th, 2001, a baby girl was born to two young Floridians. That's where it all began.
My name is Nicole Mae Groover and I am 17 years old. I know a lot of people think, "You're so young. You cant have that bad of a history." I wish that were true.
My family consists of my mom, my dad, and my older brother. Throughout my whole life my family has had money problems. Me and my brother were always made fun of at school for not having new "cool" clothes or shoes. I didn't have a lot of friends because of that and because I was never able to go places with people from school because we couldn't afford it. We didn't even have money for dinner some nights. There are 2 main reasons for this. My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic. Because of that, she can't get a job anywhere so, my dad was the only one working and bringing little to no money home. Both of my parents were also drug addicts. So the little money we had usually went to drugs. Soon the court caught on to this.
When I was seven, me and my brother weren't allowed to stay with my parents until they could prove stability. That summer we bounced around different houses. Me and my brother were separated and didn't see each other for three months. That was the longest I had ever been away from him. After those three months my aunt and uncle took custody of me and my brother. I was with them for seven years. My brother still lives there.
When we first moved in it was fun and I was happy. But after a few months, staying there became my own hell. Later I found out why they took us in. The child support. The child support was an extra $750 a month from my parents. But when my parents couldn't pay it all every month, they started treating us like trash. They spent the little money they got from my parents on themselves. This made me develop depression and anxiety that i still deal with to this day.
My brother is five years older than me so, he was old enough to move out but he wouldn't leave me there alone with them. So, I started fighting my aunt and uncle so that they would kick me out and I would have no choice but to go live with my parents again. This took a lot of stress from my brother because he didn't have to worry about me anymore. Now he's still living there but barely even talks to my aunt and uncle. The only reason he is still there is because he's saving his money to get his own place.
After living with my parents for a year, the court finally gave them custody of me. I was 15 and a sophomore in high school. Since I had just moved in with my parents, I also had to change schools.
High school was also hell for me. I was always in the very back of the room and I literally had no friends at that school. During lunch I was always either in the library or in one of my classes on my phone or doing extra work. I was a loner. At the beginning of my junior year, I decided I could not go through another year of high school. I started doing online classes after school. I did 7 classes online while doing my other seven at school. I basically did my junior year and my senior year at the same time.
The only thing keeping me sane was my boyfriend. I met him when I first started at this new school. We were together for a year and three months. I loved him and I thought he loved me.
Throughout the whole relationship we did normal couple things. We went on a lot of dates, usually to a movie, a beach, or ice cream. We even went to prom and homecoming and we graduated together. But everything changed prom night. By now we were together for a little over a year. We spent prom dancing, singing, and hanging out with his friends and their dates. After prom we got ice cream and walked on the beach at midnight (prom was in Daytona beach). After that we went back to my house and were just laying in my bed and talking.
THIS IS WHERE VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. Everyone knows what the "typical prom night" is for a high school couple. He wanted to have sexual intercourse but I didn't because I was tired after a long night and my parents were home. Apparently he didn't care that I kept saying no and was trying to stop him. That night I experienced what every parent hopes their child doesn't. I was raped.
I didn't tell anyone because I was scared no one would believe me or they would say its not rape when you're dating. Because of this happening, we were barely hanging out anymore and we would never engage in sexual activities. Two months later, he texted me saying he doesn't want to be with me anymore. This didn't surprise me because I could tell our relationship was going downhill. What did surprise me was his reasoning.
He said he didn't want to be with me anymore because he had no use of me anymore. He said he never loved me, the relationship was a joke, and he was using me the entire time. This broke my heart to the extent that I can't even describe. This caused my depression to come back and made my anxiety and trust issues A LOT worse.
After I started getting better from the breakup, I started looking at colleges to apply to. I wanted to be a doctor or surgeon. I found a college I really liked and I started planning my life there in my head. After looking forward to that for a few months, I looked closer at the requirements and saw that I don't meet them.
I'm 17. And that's where I am now. I feel lost, lonely, a new level of depressed. I can't even find a job after looking and applying literally everywhere for two straight years. I never leave my house, which has caused my social anxiety to rise to new levels. My parents are still having money trouble which is why I'm writing this. I'm hoping to put my life to use and earn some money from here to help my parents with rent, groceries, etc. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I hate asking for money but it would really help me and my parents. Thank you again.