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When I was a teenager, something unexpected happened to me that was hard to overcome, but as the years went by I learned to accept that what happened happened and to move on from it. Sadly, that was hard to do, but the man I am with today helped me through that journey to get over what has happened. This poem was written before I had met him as a start to get over what has happened to me, and after such a long time, this dragon tattoo represents the truth about me as a person.
Years has pass
But I still remember
Your smirk, your smile
The look you would give
As you bite your lip
Your eyes so seductive
I thought it was the light playing tricks
You had that look numerous of times
I still feel ghostly
Places that shouldn't been touched
Not by hands or by the trace of saliva
I will tell you stop
But you would convince me other wise
These painful, regretful memories
Is like the plague that keeps on picking
Sometimes I still feel as though I can't be with anyone
Not even myself
The idea of not finding anyone
Because of you
You were 18
I trusted you
Instead you scared me
A wound that keeps opening and closing each time I see that look
That look haunts me from any guy
You wanted to take away my cherry
But you didn't
That sweet fruit is still there
Waiting for the right one to give
But just remember
If I can't find anyone
I know you are at fault
And I was as well
Cause I was only 15
After moving to a new state, I had befriended someone who picked up some qualities that I may be demisexual. I did my own research on the word and the meaning to understand what demisexual is. The definition of the word means a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form an emotional connection. Despite of everything that has happened to me in the past I started to connect why I didn’t really want to do anything sexual for a long time. It was because I was more interested in strong feelings and a strong bond. I didn’t know there was an actual word, or the fact it was a sexual orientation that can be with other sexual orientation.
The Dragon, the Past, and #MeToo
I got my first tattoo at 18, and after six years, I finally wanted to find a way to close my haunted past—which was by a meaningful tattoo. My tattoo artist and I collaborate a dragon tattoo lying in her nest with two eggs. The color scheme, purple, white, black, and gray are the colors of the demisexual flag. The two eggs are possible near journeys that can lead to two different paths. The dragon is a Wyvern, it’s always seen as masculine but with feminine features, which is very much like me since I still have a tomboy attitude.
I love my tattoo and I am very proud of dealing with the pain of getting it. Whenever I think about those dark times, I look at this new tattoo and smile because those chapters are now closed and I can start a new brighter chapter without looking back. I refused to let the past haunt me and take over me instead I embrace it, learned from it, and try to reach out to others so they won’t go through the same thing or I can relate to those who went through it and be there for them cause I know how it felt to be alone in that kind of situation. I can say they aren't alone anymore and help them understand it wasn't their fault, so they can get a start to move on with their life to a brighter future.