The Alchemy of PMDD

I was very inspired by a post I spotted recently on the Gia Allemand Foundation's Facebook page. A woman posted the question, "I'm wondering if anyone has found any beautiful things coming out of their PMDD experiences?" She went on to share how she was actively practicing gratitude when things were at their worst, and that this practice was giving her courage...

I've found a deep compassion has grown in me for fellow sufferers and others who struggle with their mental and emotional health. I have also found that I am extremely honest during PMDD, and so address things in my life that would otherwise be ignored.

We spend lots of time hating our condition, feeling rotten and hopeless; we don't necessarily give equal time to the positive sides of PMDD...probably because they are not often self-evident. Her post made me stop a moment and consider what PMDD has given me.

As I read through the thread, I knew I wanted to write about this. I wanted to share what some of these women themselves were sharing... to bring to light the gifts that PMDD holds for those willing to look for them to enlighten ourselves and those who would judge us for having PMDD.

I share here some additional comments made with the women's permission but keeping their anonymity for privacy reasons, like this one that speaks of deepening spirituality...

Personally, the way PMDD has benefited me is that I have learned to practice my spirituality daily. I'm focusing on being a compassionate person as it is the only thing that drives the rage, anxiety, paranoia and agoraphobia away. As I progress, I'm finding an abundance of gratitude for my life I never had before now and I was raised around tremendously spiritual people. I just never really felt it in my core like I do now. Its as if suffering actually showed me the way to peace and that getting and staying in a peaceful place requires daily affirmation. I enjoy living a life practicing compassion and love daily and I enjoy passing it on to others even more. Just being kind, and seeing someone smile because of kindness is so rewarding.

It's a great point. Suffering is often what awakens our compassion, for ourselves and others. It is out of suffering that we realize we have to change our habits and ways of thinking...

I am learning to take the time and care for myself in ways I never allowed before PMDD. There is beauty in this pain for sure.

This particular quote really touched me for its simplicity and inspired this article's subtitle. Can we see the beauty in our pain? Again, we are reminded that even in the midst of great suffering, there can be treasure, if we're willing to dig for it. PMDD can also bring about very practical gifts:

PMDD has pushed me to become more and more accountable for my mental health. It has pushed me to become a better communicator, to identify my needs and boundaries and practice being courageous in expressing them. It has taught me self compassion like nothing else. It has helped me become more in tune with my body and how to plan ahead for what I’m needing. It has taught me who are my real friends. It has been the biggest motivator for doing and trying out anything and everything to become a healthier me.

PMDD tends to make us stronger women. If it doesn't, it can break us. The force of PMDD can be so overwhelming and so personality-altering that it drives us to do what we otherwise wouldn't, usually behaving in ways that hurt ourselves or others. But even that can awaken us to deeper blessings as revealed in the following comment...

PMDD personality...is, despite the nastier tendencies, incredibly powerful. I stopped and took notice lately but...she's an unstoppable force and whilst I might not always appreciate the methods or the attitude..girl is outspoken, fiery, passionate, knows when to take a Goddamn nap, fiercely protective of family even against herself. That's not saying at all that I get on with myself but...trying to see those positives and appreciate my ferocity during pmdd genuinely really helps. And I love me for the first time, unconditionally in love with all sides of myself. Good or bad and I'm learning to carry those strong powerful driven traits into my better weeks.

We can learn to channel our ferocity, our inner strength, and use it to make a real difference in our lives. Making better decisions, creating new friendships and closer connections with family, becoming more truthful in our communications, learning to ask for or take what we need without waiting for "permission" are all lessons that PMDD can teach us.

As for me, PMDD has taught me how to take care of myself. I listen to my body now instead of ignoring it and pushing through, trying to conform to expectations be they my own or the world's. It has taught me a great deal of patience, slowing me down. It's also taught me how to restrain some very impulsive energies and channel them in ways that don't sabotage or injure myself or others, via meditation and yoga for example. PMDD has initiated a process that helped me see my own darkest shadow, bringing it into the light of my own self-acceptance, and has helped me distinguish between useful and useless thinking.

I am grateful to the women who were willing to let me share their comments above. I hope this has given some of you food for thought. What positives have come out of your PMDD experience?