Sexism in the Geek Community

Comic books and graphic novels: two of my many favorite things. Two things that I had to keep hidden away while growing up. Two things that I cannot openly talk about unless I am with my husband. I'm 23 years old; I shouldn't have to hide this or be treated like a little girl that doesn't know what I'm talking about when it comes to my dork side.

For years I have tried to suppress my love of geeky things. I failed miserably. But I hated being treated as if my love of comic books, superheroes, villains, and even some amazing cartoons was wrong. All because I am a girl. Supposedly I only liked this stuff because I was trying to impress boys when I was a teenager. This most definitely was not the case. (My sexuality is one of the many reasons that I am the family disappointment.) But now, as an adult, if I am not with my husband I get quizzed to see if I'm truly a Geek Girl, or if I'm a Fake Geek Girl. Yet if my husband is with me, I am ignored completely. Either option is infuriating.

Why is my love of all things nerdy invalidated by my gender? Why must I prove that I am a geek? Why is my love of some mainstream, yet nostalgic, cartoons too 'girly'?

Yes, I was raised on Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z. Of course I'm going to love re-watching these shows with my kids, or even by myself in the early hours of the morning when baby won't sleep. It doesn't mean that those are the only things that I should be interested in. After all, I am an adult; I'm going to want to find other things besides nostalgia, though it is nice to try to recreate those simple childhood days.

But there's anime, comic books, graphic novels, cartoons, TV shows, movies, video games, and even regular books that have a fandom of some sort. I love so much of it, even the ones that I don't know about yet.

Yes, there are quite a few things that my husband introduced me to. Like The Walking Dead when I had never seen it before because I was living with my parents when it first aired on TV, and they never allowed me to set foot in a comic book store. (Thanks for sheltered life, Mom.) But there are many things that I stumbled upon and got sucked into the fandom on my own. (Hello, SuperWhoLock family!) There are so many fandoms and even families in the community. There are even kids in the community that got there because their parents, well, you know.

They are almost never criticized or lectured about what they like within any fandom — except for us girls, once we hit a certain age. Like when we hit puberty and we are at our most fragile stage of life.

But why must we, as women, tone down our love of geeky things for men?

Oh, that's right. Because we're not the target audience. I didn't learn this until I watched She Makes Comics on Netflix. Growing up, I always thought that there were men and women equally working on comics, TV shows, and even movies. I was so wrong. What I hated learning is that even the artists seemed to have been treated how women still are today, simply because they are women.

These are women that I look up to. They still pursued the industry; they challenged it even, and just knowing that there are female comic book artists is such a relief for me. I've always wanted to work for Marvel or DC as a little girl, and just knowing that it can be done is amazing.

Us nerdy women are powerful. There are times where we know more than the men with our knowledge of all things geek. After all, we love it. But I'm sure we don't love to love it. We're judged heavily, we're questioned constantly, and we're even ridiculed for liking something that is 'meant for boys'.

But that's the amazing and beautiful things about us. We can find a way to come out on top. We smash stereotypes, and look flawless and even vaguely terrifying while doing it.