Separating The Art From The Person

"The trick is to enjoy life and accept that it has no meaning whatsoever" - Vicki Christina Barcelona

Imagine that. My favorite quote in the universe heard in one of my favorite movies, written by a man accused of child molestation. I was too young, the first time I watched Vicki Christina Barcelona, to know or care about Woody Allen, which means I was probably too young to watch it in the first place. I don't even think I knew he directed it at the time. I was so enthralled with the masterpieces of actresses that are Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson, and Rebecca Hall. Woody who?

But now I know.

So what do I do? That quote has gotten me through so much in life, should I stop letting it do that? But if it's just private, if it's just in my head, it's fine. It's just not socially acceptable so I won't talk about it in public. But no, Dylan Farrow is still talking about it to this day and it's people like me who aren't listening because they love a fucking quote. Fuck. I think I'm overthinking this now. No, but maybe I'm not. I don't know!

These things go through my head constantly, every day now. I, like so many others, am a survivor of sexual harassment and abuse, but I could never imagine my abuser being beloved by millions. Imagine people still keeping my abuser on a pedestal while I watch from below. Then why do I, sometimes, still separate the art from the person?

When it came out that Louis C.K. repeatedly masturbated in front of women without consent, I was heartbroken. He not only was my favorite comedian, but seemingly quite feminist as well. I hated what he did but when his apology first came out, I tried to make it okay again in my brain for my own guilt to be eased. Well, he apologized, he seems genuine. And then my friend showed me an SNL sketch that he'd been in a long time ago, not for him, but for what the sketch was saying. I was so surprised at myself because I couldn't watch it without feeling like I was going to be sick. I can't look at him anymore, I'm disgusted with him. However, does that mean that when something reminds me of him I no longer have the urge to tell that hilarious joke he made in his stand up special a couple of years ago? No. Does that make me a bad person? I don't know.

When someone does honest work, it's supposed to resonate with others. It's supposed to feel personal. Of course, we all have that one artist that we feel we know a little more than anyone else. So naturally, when that facade is swept away from us, it's hard not to make it personal. It's hard not to feel like you've been lied to. It's a weird process that no one really wants to admit to going through because it's embarrassing. It's stupidly easy and instinctual to instantly dismiss and be disgusted with your friend's, your sister's, or your mother's abuser. Yet, here are all the victims of Louis C.K.'s horrible abuse of power and here you are sitting at home thinking, I wonder what 'I Love You, Daddy' was like.

I think the best thing anyone can do is just to remind themselves of the victims of these men, the great strides our society is taking to make them accountable, and the example this movement is hopefully setting for the future generation of men. Supporting their work is telling them, yeah what you did sucked, but you're still great, which is essentially giving them more power and in turn silences their victims. But sometimes it's easy to forget, even when you yourself have been put in the same positions some of these men have put others in.

It's okay.

But remind yourself.