Self-Love, the Golden Grail and Pussy Power

We live in a wonderful modern age where we can plug it in, connect to the WiFi and see what anyone is doing all over the world, live and in the moment. I love this about our modern world; I wouldn't be doing this right now if it wasn't for all the connectivity around us, I can reach out to anyone across the globe.

Although, often we can get too wrapped up in the world around us, instead of looking inwards, to the world inside of us from time to time. Nothing seems personal anymore, and we spend more time worrying about how others feel about us, and not about how we feel about ourselves and our bodies. Our minds are in the now, but our bodies remain ancient, and sometimes (just sometimes) we need more than cute puppy videos and Netflix with a pizza (although this is one of my fave things to do!) We need other ways to rid us of all of that negative energy, from deeper within, and not from the mind, but from the womb, where our creativity, emotions, knowledge of healing, childbirth, fertility, and rebirth all live and are controlled, by us.

The modern day woman has lost touch with her womb, she fills herself with toxins, gets no rest, and is ashamed of her body. Our womb is what makes us divinely feminine, and when we re-awaken ourselves to our divine right, we empower ourselves as women. The womb space is sacred, all powerful, and the seat of creativity to a woman.

I feel like I'm on a fucking soap box, preaching away about how wonderful the womb is, and I know you're thinking 'For fuck's sake, what a load of bollocks,' but stick with me and I'm sure you'll be able to see the same way I do, and if not, that is fine! You haven't paid me to save your life and I do not claim to be the epitome of divine female knowledge (because I am definitely not), these are just things that I have learnt on my path that I want to share with you, because I stand next to every woman on this planet, not against them. So, if this isn't for you, just close the tab and forget about it.

For those of you that are interested, it's time to concentrate on loving your womb, and understanding how to listen to her when she is in need. She really is the baddest bitch I know! Our womb is controlled by the sacral chakra, I'm sure you will have heard of this somewhere before. It is the place of sexuality and creativity, when it becomes unbalanced, you will notice that your emotions can run wild, inspiration will be blocked, fertility is impaired, and relationships will begin to form problems.

Your womb space is a deep, dark, and sacred container. It it home to our love, compassion, memories, thoughts, goals, wishes, and the divine power to obtain them. However, it also holds our deepest, darkest fears, emotions, traumas, past relationships, and bad memories, which can 'clog' up the womb space, leaving us running slow, heavy, and drained (both physically and mentally), like an old hard drive in desperate need of a data cleanse! All this happens without us even knowing, if we are not attuned to our cycles, and our sacred womb. Being attuned to your womb will make you feel an immense power, a sense of belonging, and will pull your self-appreciation through the roof! This will link to my post about "The Body Trap" and how we can use our womb to unlock an unconditional love for not only ourselves, but our bodies, which we all struggle with at some point!

Being attuned with your womb space means being totally attuned with yourself, a woman, raw, sacred, and totally imperfect. As women in this day and age, we believe that we have smashed the restrictions of patriarchy but still: eating disorders are on the rise (rapidly), cosmetic surgery is the fastest-growing medical procedure, and pornography is one of the most widely consumed forms of media.

Our freedom as women is superficial. Yes, we can work and vote, but we live our day-to-day fueled by self-loathing, physical obsessions, terror of aging, and mistrust of other women. All of this is a direct result of the shame and humiliation inflicted by the torture and torment of the witch trials.

Making mothers and daughters testify against each other during the witch trials (and declaring it was all in the name of the Mother Church) has created a womb-deep distrust amongst women, and one that has ruined friendships, mother-and-daughter relationships, and sisterhood today.

I am NOT a man hater, but let me start by saying..

Male-dominated institutions are threatened by women's freedom, so they exploit female guilt and foster appreciation about our bodies, but:

What would the pornography industry do if women refused to re-enact male desires?

What would the cosmetic surgery industry do if women embraced the unchanging beauty within them, instead of obsessing about the ever-changing patriarchal representations of external beauty?

What would the beauty and diet industries do if women trusted that all the knowledge and wisdom they ever needed was already inside them (and it could be accessed by connecting to the power of their menstrual cycles)?

This isn't meant to put more pressure on you as a woman, but to just highlight that there are billions of pounds pumped into keeping you subordinate, self-hating and not loving you, unconditionally.

Misogyny and modern day sexism make money!

Are you fucking raging? Feeling fucking used yet? Good! You should be fucking angry! All of these industries don't want to help you, you're just an insignificant minion who gives them a nice constant flow of your hard-earned cash. Paying them to keep on feeding you your own self-hatred! Get real! All these things we buy, we invest in, are they making us happy? Are we feeling more beautiful and powerful? No, we damn well aren't! We are as self-conscious and anxious as ever! Time for change!

Speaking of which, do you feel kind of guilty for being angry? Like somehow you have been taught that it's not okay to be angry, or at least not okay to show it? It's a cell-deep written memo from patriarchy stating that 'emoting' and 'feeling' are not an option. You'll be deemed "too much," "too emotional," "over the top," and "hormonal," we wince at this like its some sort of effing crime! All of these are good things and they all play a part in the balance of your womb space: every time you shut down your emotions, they get locked away into the deep darkness of your womb and you think they have disappeared, but surprise bitch! They haven't.

This is a wound we carry, the wound of the women who have gone before us, our ancestors and a wound of our past lives.

Being a woman and unlocking your power starts with being unapologetically you. The creative, happy, smiling, funny, upset, hormonal, pissed off, extra, and over the top, wonderful goddess that you are, embracing every single bit of it; your flaws, your best features, what angers you, what makes you happy, what you're passionate about. The entire blueprint of what makes you, you.

I, like I say, have definitely not got it all figured out, and I don't pretend to either. Sometimes, I don't wanna write about all of this in case you all hate it and it isn't perfect. But I'm not perfect, far from it. How I show up is irrelevant, what matters is the act of showing up, imperfect and unedited, straight from the heart, straight from the womb, embracing myself wholly, just as you all should too, in whatever you decide to do.

Here's a quick exercise to cleanse your womb space:

Do this anytime, apart from when you're bleeding.

Take a few breaths. Place one hand on your heart, and the other on your womb space.

Allow your awareness to settle into your womb area.

Follow the breath, in and out.

Follow the third breath down inside your body, and let it rest in your womb.

What you're doing here, is oxygenating this entire area. When you do that, you move the prana and energy in your womb space, so that anything that was stuck or stagnating can be dislodged and removed.

On the next in-breath, tighten your pelvic floor muscles and extent that connection into your womb area. Go gently, though: you are not doing a pussy workout.

Then on your out-breath, relax. This moves the energy in your womb space, and dislodges any energy that doesn't belong there.

As you are doing this, set your intention, for example, "I now release the energy of my ex-lover/past experience/trauma."

Start to notice what's happening. You're not looking for anything specific, and you don't need to reach out and fix anything either. Just keep a gentle rhythm going: in-breath tighten, out-breath release.

As 'stuff' is dislodged, you may start to feel residue from the relationships/experience, entanglements or emotions.

Sometimes, we can feel the emotions, witness them, and then get stuck thinking they're real and that we can't work with them. Really though? They're simply a memory making themselves available. So just witness it, and let it go.

Sometimes, the emotion won't come up right away either. Instead, it'll get a bit dislodged. Then, when you next bleed, you'll clear the residue of this particular dislodging.

Do this for five to ten minutes. Write down whatever comes up for you.

Now remember, you're a fucking badass woman, whose pussy is her power source; and whose heart will heal us all.

You have the foundations to tune into that womb, love yourself, one another, and be unapologetically you. No apologising, no trying to please anyone but yourself first, and no self-hate!

"Where the is a women, there is magic."

- Ntozake Shange

Hollie X