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High school is hard enough when everyone is trying to figure themselves out and experience the best years of their lives. That all went downhill for me when I attended high school I thought everyone and everything was going to be just like you see on TV, everyone would get along, be friends, and talk about our goals for college. Well, I was in for a big surprise when I was a freshman at high school. The other students were loud, disrespectful, disorganized, and some were even in real street gangs.
I encountered my first problem when I met a boy in my class whom I never did or will have interest in, he approached me very nicely, you know, being polite and actually having a real conversation. So I grew interest in him as a friend, but his other guy friends always questioned the nature of our relationship as if a boy and a girl couldn’t be friends without any sexual relationship behind it. So when he told his friends me and him were just friends, his five friends at first saw me as a friend as well. We grew to know one another and everything felt secure as I felt like I was making solid friendships even a few girls as well they knew, I built a friendship with.
So one day, one of our mutual female friends invited me to a sleepover. I was so excited to go over to my first high school sleepovers, I expected us to go shopping, get our hair and nails done, and talk as girls. But to my surprise, when I arrived it didn’t seem much of a sleepover more like a hang out going on, some were smoking, and some were drinking. One of the girls with big curly hair told me to wait upstairs because they know I don’t smoke or drink and I don’t like the smell of it either. I went upstairs with my duffel bag and she told me she’s going to come upstairs once the others leave as well as the other three girls from our class. I was just happy to be there so I agreed to wait for them to finish, but the waiting consisted of long hours I soon fell asleep.
I woke up in so much pain and screaming to the top of my lungs. Those five guys from my school took turns in me and forced me to do some of the most disgusting things, I said no repeatedly but one of them punched me in my mouth causing it to bleed. They were recording me and laughing at me while they raped me, they even spitted on me telling me I was nothing and that I deserved this because I didn’t want to sleep with any of them. I was too afraid to file a report, I was too humiliated to tell anyone my story, to even look anyone in the eye, and have a regular conversation.
I was torn inside, broken into pieces and my soul, oh my soul, wasn’t the same I went into a big depression. I had suicidal thoughts and one morning I find myself throwing up, very nauseous I didn’t think anything of it, I thought probably it was food poisoning or something related to that. But when I missed my period, that’s when I knew I had to check to see if I was pregnant, so I went to my local CVS and bought a pregnancy test. It confirmed my fear, I was pregnant at the age of 15 and I was gang-raped.
I was so terrified to tell my mother I was pregnant, so afraid of her reaction. And most of all I didn’t want this baby, this child was from one of the boys who sexually abused me, who forced themselves on me and took away my life, my happiness and I’m only 15, it’s so much that I’ve been through. Besides me being a teenage mother, they took away my innocence, my sunshine, my soul, and I will never be the same, mentally emotionally, or physically.
This is the most traumatic experience in my life, so when I decided to finally tell my mother, I told her I was going to have an abortion because of everything that has happened to me, because I didn’t want to carry my rapist’s baby. I just wanted those boys out of my life, a thing of the past so that is why I made that decision and this is why I am and always will be pro-choice, because a woman should have the option to do what she wants with her body.