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Mom-shaming Needs to Stop (Pt. 1)

To Work or Not to Work

By Samantha ReidPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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It seems that you can never win when you're a mom. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. And the worst thing about it is it's other women who are most likely to give you a hard time about your choices.

Feminism seems to be a circular argument and it doesn't seem to be about raising women up. It seems to be more about criticizing women for choosing a choice that doesn't align with your own views of what women should do. Instead of just encouraging women to choose their own path, no matter what that path is, we seem to be hung up on shaming them for the choices they make because it's not the choices we think they should make.

Mom-shaming needs to stop. Women-shaming needs to stop. And it's other women who are the worst for this. Feminism is quick to jump down the throats of men about controlling women's lives, but the worst harassment I've ever experienced is at the hands of other women. The worst judgment I've ever received is at the hands of other women.

The first thing I'd like to address is the mom-shaming around working. It runs rampant and there is no choice that seems to appease people. You can't win.

I don't know how working moms do it. To go back to work months after your baby is born is one thing, but mere weeks after having a baby is crazy. Whether you choose to go back to work or you have to, that decision is a hard one and one that many mothers are judged for.

People will say many things about working moms. They tell them that they are neglecting their children by going to work. They shame them for letting day-cares or babysitters raise their children. They shame them for missing out on the milestones in their child's life. They shame them for "choosing" work when their place is in the home with their child.

And yet, if you stay home with your child, there is a whole other group of people who will jump down your throat about it. How dare you submit to the rules of patriarchial society and become a caregiver to your child? How dare you not pursue a career and be satisfied with cooking and cleaning and child-rearing? How dare you want to spend time in your home with your child? Have we gone back to the 1950s?

And if you pick a hybrid of the two, working from home, you will still get harassed. Why don't you go out and get a real job? You're just neglecting your children by staying home but working instead of paying attention to them. Can you not just let your husband work and stay home? Can you not go to work and have someone else watch your children?

You can never make everyone happy. No matter what you do, someone will judge you for your choice and tell you it's wrong. The mom-shaming needs to stop.

Whatever happened to encouraging women to have a choice? If you choose to work—fine. If you choose to stay home—fine. If you try to balance both—fine.

As a mother, you get to dictate how you raise your children. Screw everyone else. Everyone has an opinion on everything. The difference now is that everyone now has access to having their opinion known.

Do what you need to do to raise your child. Work. Stay home. Run a company. Run for office. Be an athlete. The world is full of outstanding women doing great things while also having a family. We are shown examples of this every day, and that is their choice.

We live in a time where, in western society, we have the choice. There is no right choice. There is only what is right for you and people should keep their mouth shut.

Everyone wants different things in life. Everyone has a different way of making their family work. And we should be supporting women rather than tearing them down. Think about that before you decide to judge someone on the way they raise their family.

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About the Creator

Samantha Reid

I have been a creative writer for over 10 years, an academic for 7 years, and a blogger for 3 years. Writing is my passion and it's what I love.

Follow me on Instagram @samreid2992

Find me on Twitter @SgReid211

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