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Media Lesbians

It's nothing like it is on TV or in films, trust me—or maybe it is...

We've all seen the shows with the token lesbian couple, or even the lesbian best friend in the film; oh, I wish life was like a sitcom sometimes. Many a time I've heard, both through watching these or in real life, "I'm giving up on men, I'll just become a lesbian instead, it's much easier." It is not. It is stressful and sometimes sexually clumsy, just how I imagine it is for straight people. Believe me, I haven't forgotten or neglected the wider LGBTQ+ community; I'm just speaking on behalf of myself, a lesbian.

So by rights, if we look at "media lesbians'" lives and goings-on, we should all be in stable, long-term relationships. Not only that, but we should live with our girlfriend, and cats (that's not even a joke; the majority of us are portrayed as massive cat lovers... did someone say pussy?). We should have steady jobs, with plenty of disposable income too, and be friends with EVERYONE; I mean, who doesn't love a lesbian?

I hate this version of our supposed lives more than the alternative (BTW, I forgot to mention that we work out and are mega-attractive), the alternative "media lesbian" being the strong, "ugly" butch who hates men and is the "man" of any relationship she is in.

My absolute favourite, I mean this sincerely as I feel as though it represents myself, mostly, but possibly thousands of us, is the inbetweener "media lesbian." I'm pretty sure I've reached my quota of air quotes here, by the way. The reason these lesbians are my favourites is because these women are often representative of exactly how we really feel/are.

"Inbetweeners" are usually (but not exclusively) mildly attractive, in a relationship but prone to getting their heart broken, eating ice-cream on the sofa in your pyjamas on the weekend, steady 9-5 job, relatively good at household things but not a hardcore DIY–er (that's probably wrong XD) and just an "average" looking woman. Sound like you? Then congratulations, you're just the same as 98 percent of us. There's no need to feel lonely!

OK, OK, now I feel super cliché with all I'm saying, becoming the disgruntled and opinionated person I strongly dislike, my apologies. But honestly, how many times can we say that we haven't openly cringed at inaccuracies and bad portrayal of lesbians in the media? Personally, I cringe every other week at least. I don't think I'll ever not be able to identify a lesbian in film or TV with just a look at her clothing/ hairstyle/ occupation or attitude and I guess that's something that's a long way off of being rare. Maybe I'm just being picky and you're rolling your eyes back to last decade with my writing, but tell me this, can you say you 100 percent agree with how you (if you are a lesbian, my bad for presuming) have been portrayed on the silver screen? If you can, then I think you've been very lucky indeed.

I can't be completely negative about "media lesbians," especially since I presume we have all watched some sort of lesbian porn in our adult lives; even just glancing at an erotic ladies GIFs on Google counts. I am also sure that many of us have enjoyed the lesbian equivalent of Friends, The L Word, before and found ourselves slightly attracted to at least one of the characters. All I can say is this: firstly, thank you if you made it this far through my rambling and haven't fallen asleep; and secondly, whilst this entire thing has been me voicing my disappointment in our media representation, I don't doubt that 2018 and beyond will see us burst onto the silver screen and beyond with more accuracy than ever before, and for that I look forward to what's to come.

"Inbetweener Lesbians" Sanvers (Alex Danvers & Maggie Sawyer)—'Supergirl'

Ah, the Sexy Lesbians Who We Love/Hate in Equal Measure... #NumberOneLesbianShip... Sharmen (Shane McCutcheon & Carmen De La Pica Morales) — 'The L Word'