#Me Too

ME TOO!

I was debating writing this but my story should be heard and I'm using real names.

When I was 12/13, my first boyfriend, David, physically, mentally, and sexually assaulted me. I didn't want or was ready having sex. But he was so manipulative. He would constantly tell me how hideous I was, that no one would want me but him. He controlled how I wore my hair and makeup and who I hung out with. So he finally talked me into giving him a hand job, I hated every second of it and hated myself. This became a regular thing. One night he wanted head and I refused and he held a knife to my throat, convinced I didn't trust him or was cheating on him. I didn't have to do it. We went to different high schools and the last thing he said to me was have fun getting rapped in Abington (Abington is a really nice town).

Another time when I was 12, a kid on my bus, Cisco, started humping the back of my seat on the bus. He made remarks like, "I wanna grab your titties," "I'm going to cum so hard in your butt," etc. etc. This went on for roughly 30 minutes because we were both the last stops. I asked him to stop. I told him to stop. Guys were laughing. GIRLS were laughing. I was afraid to walk home.

Another time, this was at 22, I stayed over a guy's house, Brendan, I was seeing. There was no hanky panky. He drank his weight in vodka and of course this was the one time I let him pick me up and not drive myself there. So I put him on the bed and tried to get a few hours of sleep. We were up for a while cause he was white girl wasted. But he ended up peeing the bed and it got on me and I had enough, I wanted to leave and never come back. I asked him his address so my cousin could come get me and he wouldn't give it to me. Not without a kiss. That just skeeved me out enough to put it on the list. I asked Siri my location and got the hell out of there.

Other than that I get harassed on my boobs all the time, they are rather large. But there are only so many time you can hear "Are those real?" "I bet I could suffocate in there," "What IS your bra size?" And my all time creepy favorite "I'd drink milk out of those!"

I also cannot walk down a street without a cat call or go on a dating app and get guys to stop with the dick pics. So happy I'm in a healthy relationship now.

The thing is I feel unsafe. I never know what a guys true intentions are. I do not know if it is okay to walk home, hang out with guys, or even go to a store. I feel like I am only safe from harassment in my house—my little bubble. I contemplate what to wear and how to look. It makes me feel ugly and women should never feel that way. We need to stick together, as women, and call out the people that make us feel like we have to hide in the shadows.

#metoo