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Learning To Love Yourself In A Size 4 Society

Love Yourself, Love Your Body

By EmPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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I'm sure that most, if not all of us have hated our appearance at one point or another. Well, maybe not hate but disliked our appearance. Growing up we're told we need to be skinny, we need to look pretty, we need to be feminine, we need to do this and that, but what about what we wanted? Some of us wanted to be models and were denied by the industries because we aren't size 4s, or because we don't have flat stomachs, or some other BS.

Growing up, my mom always told me I had to be skinny, I had to lose my gut, I had to get rid of my stretch marks, I had to do this and that and everything in-between. As I grew up I was a size 0-5 until maybe 8th grade, meanwhile I was still a fairly chubby girl. As life went on, as High School came around, I decided that I wanted to learn to love my body, I wanted to stand up to my mom and tell her I'm perfect the way I am.

Life went on and I realized something, why are we conforming to an unrealistic expectation? Women are having surgeries to obtain the "perfect body." BUT WHAT IS THE PERFECT BODY? The perfect body according to media and society is a woman with decent sized breasts, fairly big butt, flat stomach, and thin, MEANWHILE THEY'RE SUPPOSE TO FIT INTO A SIZE 4 DRESS? HOW?? I've always hated the way society told women they needed to change their appearance. When the "love your body" campaign came out, I was all for it. I love seeing models who are size 8, 14, 20, 24, etc. and who have REAL bodies. No photoshop, coming in all shapes and sizes, showing everyone that women are beautiful no matter what.

During my senior year of High School there was a dean who refused to allow girls into the school or held them at the main lobby, stopping them from going to class (which is illegal) if they wore shorts, tank tops, dresses, sandals, etc. But why? Because we were a "distraction." That day my friend, Faith, and I posted on Snapchat "Come to school tomorrow in tank tops and shorts and write I AM NOT A DISTRACTION on your arms (we even had some guys write I AM NOT DISTRACTED)." It was a success for the most part, even having some teachers and one of the APs join in on our protest. The dean was frightened and told our parents we were doing things that aren't allowed by the school, but in reality it was. We were allowed to peacefully protest. He was telling girls they couldn't wear shorts because "you're too fat," even telling one of my friends, Michelle, that she was too fat to wear shorts. That was when it hit the fan. We called her mom, we had an investigation going on in the school. He continuously told the investigator, principle, her mother, etc. that we were lying, but how can multiple students be lying? Since I've graduated I'm not sure what has happened yet, but I'm keeping in touch with some friends to find out if he's still there and to find out if he's still pulling his bullsh*t.

When I finally accepted my body, stretch-marks and all I didn't want girls to feel the way I did for years. I've actually decided I wanted to do some modeling as a side job while I'm in college, (if you wanna see what I'm trying to do follow me on Instagram @evidal__ [2 underscores] or on Twitter @evida1_) to show everyone that anything can happen. I'm already planning a few things (like a Pokémon photoshoot with an old friend sometime during 2018). I know I'm not the "biggest" or "most diverse" looking [aspiring] model out there but I'm something. I'm a size 8 in dresses, size 9/10 in pants, I struggle to find bathing suits: always having to look for a bigger top than the one offered when I buy my bottom unless I buy a one-piece, I have a chubby stomach, I have thick thighs, I have fat that I've learned to love, I have stretch marks, I have scars, acne, and so much more.

I know learning to love yourself in a size 4 society can be hard but here are some tips and tricks!

  1. Look in the mirror everyday, you can be naked, in a bra and panties, in regular clothing (work your way down to nothing if you want) and tell yourself "I am beautiful and I deserve to be happy with my body." Why? Because you are beautiful. If you're healthy, if you're happy, if you're working on yourself, even if you don't know what you want from yourself just yet, don't let yourself fall victim to this f**ked up society. Nobody can take away your confidence but yourself. Your confidence makes you beautiful. Show off those tummy rolls, show off those thick thighs, show off those stretch-marks (I call them tiger stripes, more power to ya!) show yourself off! You deserve it!
  2. Is summer coming around? Or do you live in a fairly hot climate? WEAR A BIKINI, WEAR SHORTS, WEAR A CROP TOP, WEAR SHORT SLEEVES, WEAR NO SLEEVES. WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT! If you feel good, what's the matter with showing off what you got? If someone feels uncomfortable with it tell them to f**k off!
  3. Take yourself out! Go dancing, go to a museum, go to a nice restaurant, TREAT YO' SELF! You deserve it. We go through a lot. Menstrual cycles, constant criticism, pregnancy, etc. have fun while you can! Love yourself now, and love yourself forever. Just have fun! SHAKE WHAT YA MAMA GAVE YA! Just have fun, okay? Even if you don't wanna go out, get a book, watch a movie, drink some wine and curl up on your bed or something, and have a cute night in (alone or with friends, doesn't matter).
  4. If your boyfriend or if your friend isn't supporting you, and isn't telling you you're beautiful just the way you are, maybe you need to drop them. If they're telling you, "you should lose weight" take their advice and drop those 100+ pounds of bullsh*t from your life by dropping them! Or if they tell you, "you'd look so much prettier if you...." tell them you're happy the way you are and if you feel like making a change you'll do it because you want to.

This is your life, make the most out of it. Nobody can dictate how you view yourself except for you. Love yourself, don't give them the advantage by thinking you're ugly, or you're only pretty if you're thin. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. So what's your size? SIZE: BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT.

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About the Creator

Em

I'm doing my best.

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