It's My Body. Back Off

Body shaming wasn't something you ever really heard about until recently. It happened. It still happens, but it wasn't big news. It wasn't until one of my students came in (they're 7) and said, "I'm on a diet. I'm fat." Shocked, I said, "Excuse me?" and they told me how their mother had put them on a diet. Now, this mother may not have done so and this child may have just been all talk, but at SEVEN the biggest thing a girl needs to be worried about is whether or not she's getting a Barbie Dream House...

I didn't realize how much it all bothered me until then. I had been body shamed basically my whole life. I mean being told I needed to lose weight is a normal thing. I'm told that every doctor's appointment. I was told that as a skater. I was told that every teenage year. I was told that in college. Worst off, my bridal appointment was ruined when I found out someone had made a comment about my body in one of the dresses. MY BRIDAL APPOINTMENT.

I have been so self-conscious my whole life. I've been called "big nose" and "four eyes" basically since I was in elementary school. It sucked. I still don't like myself in 90 percent of the pictures I see. I've gained weight... I've lost weight... and gained again.

Let me just say, if you see someone trying to lose weight... and someone tells you that they're trying to lose weight... why would you offer them their favorite treat? Or why would you say, "if you lost a few pounds, you'd feel better." I mean, if I told you I want to lose weight obviously I know how my body would feel and I don't need your damn opinion to tell me how I would feel in MY body.

It's almost to the point in our society where it's a crime to have curves. It's a crime to love food. It's a crime to have a little love chub. Guess what?!?! If you don't like our bodies, DON'T LOOK. We don't need your criticizing comments. We don't need your nasty looks. We don't need you talking about no diabetes in this house.

Do you know what we need? We need you to SHUT UP, SUSAN! JUST SHUSH YOUR MOUTH. We need you to support us. Love us. Tell us we're rocking it. Give us that bottle of water. Go for a walk with us when we're craving chocolate. Come to the gym with us. Smack those who are dissing us... literally. If you don't think it's hard to walk into a gym with all these skinny, fit people... you're not getting the picture.

Being told that you need to lose weight no matter who it's by is such a hard thing to hear. It is not their decision to say so. It's not their body. It's yours. You choose. Your life. On the other hand, half of the ideas and strategies people give these days work for 5 minutes and then stop. There is not an end all, be all solution for EVERYONE.

Truth is, for many of us... it's a mind game and your shaming isn't helping. Your shaming leads us to eat that pint of Ben & Jerry's. Your shaming leads us to curl up with popcorn and watch movies when it's sunshine and blue skies outside. It's the shaming that destroys us and little children around the world.

It's not your body. It's mine. Keep your negativity to yourself. Find the positivity and help. Take our hand and guide us where we need you to. It's as simple as "I'm here to help."