I could remember in detail things my molester did to me. I remembered where I was, what I was wearing, what he said and did, and often times I remembered how he smelled. But when I started to remember I also started remembering the threats he would tell me to make sure I would never speak and although it had been many years since I saw this man it still sent a wave of fear through me so badly that I felt chilled to the bone. I did not speak about any of the side effects I was having once they started. I was 21 years old when I finally broke down and notified my close family of what had happened to me. I am currently 28 years old and to this day I have not gathered all the pieces. I struggle every single day. I managed to get a job and keep it. I am going nearly 3yrs strong in an amazing career. I finally as of 2017 got my own apartment with my roommate and after moving I was able to successfully ween myself off all of my depression an anxiety medications. I will never be cured. Some days are easier than others and some days I regret getting off my medication. The lasting effects of being molested as a child are forever. You may look at me or anyone else who has been molested and think we are normal and in ways we are and most of us lead amazing, adventurous lives but deep down there is still an open wound that has yet to be closed. The fear I have in a lot of situations to this day makes me break down in tears because I so badly want to be that outgoing and carefree girl with no worries in the world. The abuse was so bad that even smells break my mental psyche down to crumbles. I have come leaps and bounds from the day I came out to my family about this secret and for that I am so happy for myself. I will not stop growing and bettering myself. I am behind compared to many my age but I continue to fight every single day to keep growing as a strong, vibrant, beautiful woman.
About the Creator
Megan Wheeler
I have a passion for arts. I thrive in a world of color and am a self taught photographer, model, and makeup enthusiast.
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