I'm Just Not Fun Anymore

As we grow up, we go through many stages of life, the good times and the bad, the hard times and the easy. And ultimately — the fun times, and the not so fun times. But if we're lucky enough, we find someone to share all of those experiences with. And hopefully, this person will be with you through the thick and thin, loving you for the person that you are. I really wish this for each and every one of you. And I also wish that throughout your life you'll be able to shut down bullshit propaganda ads like the one below from Durex.

There were a lot of thoughts going through my head when I saw this on Facebook. Now, it's written from the perspective of a young married, new mother. And for those of us with young children, it can really hit home. You're tired, the kids are cranky... dinner has to be done, and there's a never ending cycle of laundry. While she goes through all of this, her husband looks at her and says, "You're not fun anymore." Personally, if this was a conversation with hypothetical me, he would've gotten a swift, "Go fuck yourself." But that's just me.

Instead, she thinks to herself — no, she's not fun anymore. And what he said really hurt because it was true. Because before kids, fun was going out, pampering herself, and taking spontaneous road trips, All of which you don't get to do much of when you're a new mother. Thanks, Durex, I feel a little better now about having no time to take care of myself. And thanks for the side of guilt that you served up.

So while her husband apparently gets to eat, shower, and pee in peace, this woman handles everything. But all of that is okay because he tells her that she is, "Beautiful without makeup on, with messy hair, and in a ratty old t-shirt." GIVE... ME... A... BREAK. Her standards are way too low. It's totally fine that he doesn't parent the children he helped create, or cook a fucking meal once in a while, and thinks that she's not fun anymore... He said she's beautiful. Because that's all women want, right? Compliments on their appearance, or the food they make.

Being a mother is simply amazing. But somewhere along the way society decided that once you're a mom you shouldn't be taking breaks, pampering yourself, or receiving help. Well, jobs outside of the house get breaks, vacations, and help. Plus, you get paid. And I know, I know, being a mother is a choice. But it's still the hardest fucking job I've ever had in my life. And it's a minimum of 12-14 hours a day, seven days a week, with only one real scheduled day off, and that's Mother's Day. There are also a lot of rewards: tiny little humans that love you more than anything in the world, a kind of love that you can only know if you have children. You get to create and nurture life, and raise human beings who hopefully don't turn out to be assholes. But it's also really, really hard.

This ad promotes the idea that you become "not fun" once you're a mother. And we all know that they are talking about the fact that when you have small children, you don't have sex as often as you'd like. Raising tiny humans is fucking exhausting. But I am so lucky to have the love of a man who understands me, parents our children better than I could've imagined, and would never say something to me like "you're not fun anymore."

So at the end of this ad, the woman is happy and in love with being a mother. And she seems content with not being fun. Okay — whatever. But the real kicker here comes at the very end. She says, "I can only hope that my husband realizes that while I might not be fun anymore right now, one day I'll be fun again... I'll be fun again someday. I just hope he can wait until then." Or what!?! He's going to go out and fuck someone else? Are you saying that he has the right to cheat, because she's not fun anymore? Oh don't worry dude, you'll be absolved of any wrongdoing because you need to have fun. Seriously, Durex, what is that?

The fucking message in this ad is infuriating. If you have children, then you will not be fun anymore. But that's okat because you're a mom, and moms don't get to have fun until the kids are grown up. Then, and only then, you can start being fun again, right? Wrong. This ad is trying to play to the weakness of a new mother. Feel guilty! Feel guilty! And on the flip side, it's playing to the men, telling them... Your wife isn't fun anymore. Use our condoms to fuck someone else. You deserve to have fun.

Well, you know what I have to say to all of that? Fuck you, Durex. Your condoms suck anyway!