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My life as a girl is rough and it will continue to stay that way. Girls are full of hormones that make us hate everything and anything about ourselves, other girls, and life. Am I right? The complication we mainly and definitely struggle with is comparing ourselves to other girls. I'll admit it, I am the first to compare myself to any other "perfect" girl or even a guy sometimes.
As I go through life, I wonder a lot about my personality as well. I've always known I was slightly different than any of my lady friends. I also did not like the idea of being a girl. We're dramatic. We feel everything in a dramatic way. We express ourselves in a dramatic way for attention. I did not want to be a girl and that is where I compared myself to a guy. They are genetically calmer, less dramatic, get along with all the guys and if they don't, they usually fight it out and five minutes later, they're friends. Why couldn't us girls stick together like that without holding a grudge? I'll never understand girls. I wanted to be a guy, they're just slightly easier to deal with and are genetically simple.
As I grew up, I felt like I legit got along with everyone and I felt like I was friends with everyone, but I never specifically fit into just one clique. It was never good enough to get invited to events everyone else was getting invited to. I never felt like I was one of those girls that got picked first to hang out with. Which made no sense to me? I was athletic, I was friendly, and fun, but it was never good enough. Did I just not have anything in common? Was it because I came off too strong? Did I hang out too much with the boys, so my tomboy was showing a little too much? Did I talk too much crap and later was a huge hypocrite about it? I don't know and I'll never know unless someone confronts me about it.
It honestly upset me and it still upsets me till this day. I always wondered and it honestly made me want to change my way of thinking about myself. I always thought it was just because I actually never fully extended myself, so I started doing that—being more involved and connected, asked questions about about their lives and tried to relate as much as possible just so I could be friends with at least one girl. Don't get me wrong, reaching out and asking frequent questions to keep the conversation going and finding things that you both have in common is the right way to do it. I specifically have great friends now because of that reason and they legit are the best girls I've ever met. But, it is a lot harder when it comes to girls that rather just talk about themselves. You know that you're the type that will converse and will reach out just so its not awkward, but that person rather just not ask you anything about your life. Unless, you truly do have something in common with each other. I DO NOT GET THOSE GIRLS! They make me want to pull my hair out and give up on that person forever.
Please just understand, if you know that you're the type that doesn't like to carry a conversation, or ask questions about the other person’s life, I'm seriously not going to ever talk to you after the first time. Unless, I am put in a situation where I have to talk to you. It's honestly a waste of time for me and that's just me.
Specific girls still make me question myself knowing what I know. I legit knew it wasn't anything to do with me. I know that I will go out of my way to try to get along with a specific girl for any reason. The difference was that they never tried with me as much as I did. It would make me think negative about myself and not in a good way. I still do it till this day.
So, if you are anything like me or feel the same way I do about not fitting in with the people or girls you specifically want to be friends with, here is some advice from me to you. I wish someone would have told me this earlier.
1. Be confident in yourself.
Even if you're not liked and you know it's not good enough, know that they aren't the only friends you can actually be friends with. You will come upon girls that are just like you. That are as easy going just like you. That like to continue conversation without even trying just like you.
2. Do not compare yourself to other girls.
We all grow the same body parts but, us girls are all different no matter what. Living your life is one thing, but living your life comparing yourself to someone is just boring and you're miserable most of the time. You forget about how great you are and how many changes you could do to make yourself better. If you can improve, that reflects off of you and people notice it. Kindness and greatness are contagious. Be you and be the best you can be!
3. Always be kind.
Girls already go through a lot. Some can be mean. Some are even nice and it's still not good enough to chose them as a friend. I know girls are known to talk bad about each other, but I’ve also noticed that people don't like to listen to how much of a gossiper you are. What comes out of your mouth, reflects way worse off of you than it does from the person you're talking trash about. So, be nice to yourself too. Throw out a compliment once in a blue moon. Make those girls feel better about themselves. I say knowing that, makes me want to be nice just so they know I care enough for myself and them. It's cool to be kind. (In some situations, but that’s for another story. Ha!)
4. Quit being selfish.
Like I said before, reach out and get to know that person. I've realized that most of the girls that didn't care to reach out was because they have a comfort zone they can't get out of. Give them a couple chances to ease up to you...but, CONVERSE. Don't just depend on the opposite person to know everything about you and don't act like you don't care about them either. Not caring enough to ask questions about the person’s life if way worse than being shy. You can also tell the difference. It gets easier once you do reach out, converse back and forth, and figure them out. You have just developed a habit, you're slightly happier, and have made a friend.
5. DO NOT forget to love yourself first.
Us girls need to stick together and we can’t do it without loving and caring for ourselves first. Hit the gym. Do your hair and make up; add in a selfie. Dance and sing to loud music. Do whatever it is that makes you feel the vibe for yourself and your happiness. But, whatever you do, do not forget to love yourself.
My Words From Me To You. xx
To be continued.