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Girls Please Read

To those who don't have it completely together, life isn't about being in control.

By Aurora CassidyPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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I am writing this because I am tried of seeing young, beautiful girls striving endlessly to fulfill society's modern day expectations and almost kill themselves in the process. Instagram feeds and the far-too-easy accessibility to anything and everything on the internet puts so much unnecessary pressure on young females (and has shown to have detrimental effects on mental health... unsurprisingly). So although I realise one post isn't going to end the pandemic, I thought that there needed to be one more nugget of realistic advice and perspective, so here it is.

The internet is completely overflowing with blogs and advice pages and step by step guides on how to live a healthy happy lifestyle. How by walking round in your activewear whilst sipping on a kale smoothie that tastes like rotting grass before you go to pilates and then on to an extortionately overpriced cafe where you take 10 photos of your vegan cake and devote unjustifiable brain energy to the insta caption. Girl please... bore me later.

(I want to make it clear that I enjoy eating healthy food and I am a runner so I am not hating on the healthy lifestyle at all, I am just trying to convey that it is not the be all and end all. Balance is key.)

Girls. It is okay to not have your life together. It is okay if your brain is a little up in the air and your actions sporadic and spontaneous. I am in my 20s and I have had periods of my life when I have been terrifyingly in control, my studies were at the top of my game, I was a blonde, toned goddess... to the naked eye I had my life together and I was happy and smashing it. And the truth is now that I am a bit more of a scatter brain, I am spontaneous and I speak my mind, I smoke too much and probably drink too much and spend most of my time either drunk with my best friend or doubled over in laughter on the phone to to her retelling another one of my questionable life choices or awful dating escapades. People probably think I'm out of control, wild, reckless, and they probably really enjoy bitching about it. But you know what I would like them to know is that I do not give a damn, I am enjoying myself tyvm.

But there are huge differences between my two aliases. When I was super in control and organised and fit I was actually dreadfully unhappy, I took myself so seriously, was over sensitive, didn't have any stories or funny anecdotes because my insanely healthy lifestyle caused me to say no to a lot of things. I declined invitations to seeing friends because I couldn't look at a pizza or be in a loud restaurant, looking back by control and desire to reach society's expectation made me a bit of an agoraphobic. Therefore, I was quite boring and pretty friendless as I don't enjoy bragging or gossiping and I had nothing else to speak about. I was striving to be 100% in every aspect of my life, to be the girl that everyone wanted to be. 100% in control with a hollywood smile, lush blonde locks and the 6 pack to go with it. When on the inside, I was starving and cried every day, I was bored and felt trapped in my routine of 15k a day and a couple of eggs and an avo. The only other times I have been this vision of excellence is after getting my heart broken, I sure looked like I had it together but behind the scenes I was a bumbling mess...

My scatter brained self is radically happier and actually, behind the scenes, far more in control. She is realistic, she is a far better friend, she is more fun, she tells more stories and laughs constantly, she puts time into others, she says yes to everything and sees the colourful world in a realistic and not-so-serious way, fundamentally, she can laugh at herself. I love running but I will not be held prisoner to how I look, I will do it when I feel like it, and if I'm hungover then sorry but it's bed for me. I will say yes to seeing as many friends as I can to and catch up over a big fat curry because you know what, it tastes good.

If you are surrounded by girls who seem to have everything together and rub it in everyone's face then please please choose better friends. Please know that they probably are not together behind the scenes, because their "social media life choices" are just revealing the fact they feel as though they have something to prove. You will inevitably start comparing your life to their highlight reel and become even more insecure (Thank you Mr/ Furtick, brilliant quote). Because you know what, we are all insecure enough anyway, give yourself a break.

I am blessed with a best friend who constantly reminds me the importance of laughing at myself, and not taking anything too seriously. We have sobbed together listening to obscenely sad love songs, we have religiously held each other's hair back over a vomity toilet, we have hated each other's brutally honest advice, we have sat in the bathroom whilst the other has a shower after heartbreaks, we have danced and danced and danced and laughed so much that a little bit of pee comes out. And I thank the Lord she walked into my shit show of a life because she taught me to embrace my atrocious bad luck and laugh at it. Be more like her. Because at the end of the day we all have two choices: get buried under life, feel sorry for yourself, and get angry at how shit life is, or look at your life like a film, know your days are numbered, there are too few to worry about what you look like, or worry what people think of you, or feel as though you're the only one who has all the bad luck because you aren't. Laugh at yourself, laugh at the awkward dates you go on, laugh at the shit life throws at you. Because we all die one day, and I know I would rather look back with a loving roll of my eyes at my whimsical rollercoaster of a life than look back and come to the realisation that I missed out, regretting not saying yes to things and instead sipping on my rotten grass smoothie.

So be strong hunnybun, and laugh, and cry, and be a yes person. Eat the last doughnut if you want it because you know what, it doesn't matter.

Disclaimer: Obviously take some things seriously like getting your grades :) Just not the stupid stuff like boys and calories and tripping up pavements :)

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