I got my nails done for the first time this week.
I was initially debating getting them, knowing that I'm busy, and often not gentle when it comes to handling things. But my boyfriend did not exactly give me a choice. So here I am with mildly long pink and silver acrylic nails, and I realize that now that I have nails, I should probably do my hair too. I straightened my usual afro as much as I could.
The minute I stepped out of my dorm, I received the hungriest looks from guys that had never noticed me before. In class boys were staring at me. Whenever I walked anywhere a guy was trying to speak to me and get my number or whatever else. "How come I've never seen you on campus before?" "You got a boyfriend?" "Does he let you have friends?""He should... lemme hit you up sometime."
At this point I am the most uncomfortable that I have ever been. I am at my most vulnerable state because I'm full of nerves and don't ever know what to say to guys. This is officially my least confident state.
My boyfriend thinks that it's good because it's going to boost my confidence, but how? Because I don't feel confident at all, I feel like a piece of meat in front of hungry dogs. At least when I dressed more casual, or as some would say, "bummy," the guys who wanted to talk to me would be cooler and wouldn't talk to me like they're trying to get in my pants, whether they were trying to or not. At least then I was the one who was intimidating.
Some people would say that I have to grow up and be a woman. I hate hearing this.
First, my status as a woman is not determined by how I dress. I am still going to be treated as a woman in society. Whether I have long nails, short nails, long hair, short hair, nice clothes, casual clothes... Women are already struggling in society. Why not let us dress how we want?...
Second, I feel more like a woman when I can make my own decisions and feel however I feel about things. If anything, I've always been a woman. Just my own kind of woman.
I know that on special occasions I need to dress up and look nice, and I can do that. But being done up every day isn't my cup of tea. And it's okay if you don't. Blow their mind when you do get all dolled up. Wear what makes you most comfortable, what makes you feel like getting up and taking on the world.