Didn't See That Coming

Generally speaking, hormones can be vastly inconvenient. From a woman's perspective, they are downright a pain in the ass! However, pregnancy has a whole different set of hormones that make any sane woman go crazy! I have become very aware of my mood swings, and it has not been easy keeping them in check either. As my belly grows, I am physically getting more uncomfortable, and apparently, it doesn't take much to "set me off."

Lately, my adopted dog has me on edge, constantly misbehaving, and testing my patience. I have never been a dog owner of my own until now, so half the time I don't understand her. I'm sure she is getting me "ready" for my baby, as everyone suggests. Our relationship feels like a wave sometimes; back and forth we dance.

I have become unable to work, so with all my free time, I have been educating myself about dogs and specifically bad traits. Reading up on how to "correct" or "fix" the issues I'm having. I knew I wanted to adopt a dog. How could I have known she would have such a horrendous past? I rescued her less than a year ago, and coming from several abused homes, I am her seventh owner in her two-year lifespan. It's rather heartbreaking, and I have been teetering on the idea if I am the right fit for her.

Without seeking professional help, I have gathered enough information to determine my dog has something called "submissive urination." Most of her bad habits are stemmed from her past. Crazy to think she's had so many owners in a short amount of time. Most people ask, "Well what's wrong with her?" Honestly nothing! She's timid, but you would be too if all you knew was abuse. I am up for a challenge; I have saved many ferrets in the past, why not a dog? Sounds like I have a lot of "re-correcting" to do with her, and it won't be an over-night fix either. These things I am learning take time, months even!

Dog issues aren't my only problem these days. Hormones have me on a blind rollercoaster ride, not sure what turn is coming next, or if I'm going to go up or downhill. It frustrates me to no end not feeling in control of my emotions. I can only pity my poor husband who has to endure them regardless.

Every little thing seems to have some annoyance in my perspective, more so than normal. For example, last week was rent day; I had the pleasantry of dealing with my landlord that morning. Apparently, I was the only one who awoke to the sound of him beating on our door. Lucky me!

Just rolling out of bed, I answered the door to a cranky old man demanding money. I tell him I need to head to the bank, and he then informs me not to forget the rent raise that just took effect. I paused, trying to process the information at such an early hour. As he stared at me, he saw my "deer in headlights" look turn to anguish. Then out of nowhere, I just lost it. Slowly closing the door in embarrassment, I began to sob. Unfortunately, my misery didn't end there.

Arriving at my bank, filling out the withdrawal form, I come to find out I didn't even have enough to cover rent. Talk about a pregnant woman's hormones about to get the best of her. I was pretty much distraught at that point, starting to feel like a deflated balloon, despite the irony of me starting to look like one. I'm sure it's going to be one of those moments I look back upon later and think, "I could have handled that differently."

When my hormones aren't getting the best of me, I have that thing everyone refers to as "baby brain." Trying to juggle all these emotions is messy, almost like trying to eat spaghetti with no silver wear—like I said, messy. God bless those women who are more will powered than I am at keeping their shit together. Men really have no idea just what we woman go through. As a newly pregnant woman, I can vouch!