Dear Abuser

Dear Abuser:

Thank you for finally re-opening your Facebook page. You know the one you claimed you deleted... anyways, thank you for finally opening up your Facebook page. Had I not looked deep into my Facebooks page source settings as to who is most likely taking a looksie at my posts, I would have never realized your page was re-opened.

Thank you for taking a looksie at my posts! I hope you enjoyed them all, for they were written about you. And I’m sure the self centered part of you basked in the glory that they were written specifically in your honor. I hope it gave you the fuel your narcissistic mind so desperately need at all times to survive.

I hope you still feel like a man, because to me you do not even register as one. And guess what... you don’t register as one to your children either. Because a man doesn’t put his hands on a woman ever. A real man doesn’t cheat and lie ever to the woman he loves. Real men don’t emotionally and psychologically abuse the women they love. Real men do NOT emotionally abuse their own child.

And while I’m being honest, let me just ask you something... Who the fuck do you think you are, that it was just so easy for you to destroy my son in the manner that you did? I’ll tell you exactly who you are, YOU are a nobody! YOU are NOT authentic, YOU are pathetic... in every possible way imaginable.

And please don’t take this the wrong way, because I mean this in the nicest way possible. But you are a grade-A liar. World class.

But I guess all that’s a convo for another time, if you ever can convince your son to speak to you anytime in the future. But, I wouldn’t seriously hold my breath on that one. To be honest and clear with you, your son hates your guts. He wouldn’t piss on you to put out the flames if you were on fire. He hates you for all the emotional and psychological harm you caused us. And that’s aside from the physical.

He hates you for making him feel as though he now has to always sit and wait for the other shoe to drop with people in his life, including his girlfriend, because that’s what our life was like with you. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when it did, that’s when all the emotional and psychological abuse would re-surface at your hands, and things were not pretty between us in those moments, because I refused to back down or be disrespected. That’s when all the lies would start up again. That’s when your narcissistic cycle of devaluation would start all over again. And it drove us Nucking Futs!

Don’t even get me started on how you continue to manipulate and control me, or so you like to think. It’s not lost on me that you kept my grandmother's wedding gown, my clothes, and even pictures of me and my children when they were all little, to include Joel’s baby pictures. No worries, I’ve been able to make copies of all those pics and I can buy new clothes. I can even hear my grandmother telling me to “just let him keep my gown, just so you never have to put up with his ass again.”

She always did give the best advice, so I’m gonna take hers on this... You can keep all that stuff. Its all yours.

Oh, and I think that this little tidbit is my favorite part of our story... Just so you could show how crazy I was to the entire world, in my last moments with you, you recorded my mental breakdown as proof that I was the abusive psychotic one that you had been telling people that I was for months. Of course you didn’t tell them how you body slammed me to the ground and caused injury to my body. I suffered a dislocated elbow as a result of your physical abuse. I also suffered other multiple bruises due to your anger and rage the night before I left. And you continued to torment me well into the night because you just couldn’t understand how I just couldn’t go to sleep after being physically, emotionally and mentally abused by you throughout the night. It did, however, amaze me how you were able to sleep like me a baby after tormenting me and your ex wife throughout the evening and into the night, until the dust settled and I backed off. And But don’t share that info with anyone you tell your story too. No, No, No.. play the victim like you always do, gain their sympathy for your fake victimization, and keep telling the I’m the psychotic abuser. No skin off my ass, to be honest.

Sure, I held you accountable for your bullshit behavior. Who wouldn’t? It’s actually quite common in relationships when one party does something that hurts the other party, but you never understood that concept, for you only saw me/us as an extension of yourself and never separate beings with our own identities and our own feelings, thoughts or opinions. You dehumanized us every chance you got. Hell! Even the friggin dogs' feelings and needs came before ours! You couldn’t understand any of my pain, because my pain wasn’t your pain and to you facts are feelings. But only your facts, never anyone else’s.

I don’t miss your icy-dead cold stare. That creepy as fuck dead straight stare you had anytime I would try to talk to you about the damn issues. I don’t miss your insane remarks that only left me even more perplexed, because you were trying to mindfuck me, and keep me in a FOG. In short, my dear... I don’t miss you!

You were both my heaven and my hell, simultaneously. You were my greatest lesson and my worst nightmare, all at the same time. You were the man I loved and my tormentor, all rolled into one giant asshole.

You destroyed our lives, willingly, for your own selfish needs. You faked a future with me that you had no intention of living. You made promises to us that you had no intention of keeping. And in our final moments together you tortured me for catching on to your bullshit. Finally, your mask had fallen off and you were exposed for the narcissistic asshole that you are.

You lied to me and cheated on me with the worst possible human being on this planet. The same woman you triangulated me with for months. The same woman who lied to me repeatedly about the true nature of your relationship, just as you did. She is both ugly on the inside and out, and I really do hate to say that because a queen should always help hold up another queen’s crown, but she dropped napalm on our relationship every chance she got, just so she could have you. Mostly because you convinced her it was not only OK, but was also necessary. And the very moment she started to convince you that I was totally wrong for you and she was totally right for you, was the very moment your abusive nature started to rear it’s ugly head. Wait till she begins to realize that she didn’t actually win any REAL or special prize.

And your ultimate kick in the ass was when you moved her and her two children into our home just a few days after I left you. That is NOT normal, human behavior. And your most hurtful slap in our son's face is the fact that you will sit (for a time) and play “Daddy” to her kids, meanwhile discarding your own flesh and blood. All because he saw you for who you really are.

Rest assured that any neurotypical reading this letter I am writing to you, will equally find your behavior to be as sketchy as I do, and will probably find it to be quite a bit “assholish.” And again... I mean all this in the nicest possible way.

Because if you don’t know, you won’t grow.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding! The writing could be clearly tattoo’d on your eyelids, and you would still be devoid of the ability to grow. Because in your sick and twisted mind you truly believe that me and my son are the true villains in your sick and twisted story, and you’re really just the Damsel in distress. The victim. The hero of your own sick fantasy!

It just amazes me how many people believe your bullshit and still continue to kiss your ass, ad neaseum.

But you are one of the worlds best liars. Again... I’m being quite sincere when I say all this to you, without malice, but with all the love in my heart I have left to give you.

Either way... thank you so much for the re-opening your page so that me and my son can finally ensure that we have you blocked in every possible way that we truly can. You cannot imagine the relief I feel with the olive branch you unknowingly just extended to us. So, thanks a million!

And please, please, please, don’t take any of this letter the wrong way, because I really do mean all of this in the nicest possible way.

Till next time, (because I will continue to share my story and help others heal from the same abuse till I take my last fucking breath. because while I’m sharing my story I have found that I am helping so many other people heal from the same abuse I endured at your hands... I’m also healing myself in the process.)

Elisabeth