Dating with Priorities

Dating can be daunting. It forces us to look within ourselves, and expose our vulnerability to total strangers, in the hopes of building a long lasting connection for life, and the older you get the more you there is at stake, and your 20s are the most vital decade for ones’ love life; it is the foundation of your love life. Some would even say they are the years that lead you to the love of your life, and shape you in all aspects of life.

This why dating in your early 20s and late 20s are totally worlds apart in terms of the needs, desire, and expectations. In your late 20s your priorities shift, to a serious pursuit for someone who has a similar stance on social issues that are important to you, and has a vision for their lives. Bottom line: you're over wasting time and miscommunication.

Although social media platforms and dating apps have made it seem like information on potential suitors is readily available, dating is a gateway of discovery.

You discover a lot about how you interact with people, and what you need to work on; as you move closer to those late 20-something years, things start to shift and make more sense and you start to want your love life to make sense.

Dating is a pure choice to share intimate parts of ourselves with a stranger, that could eventually become family. Intimacy is something that we all crave and need, as a basic human instinct and the desire for a genuine connection only gets more intense with age.

Your late 20s is a time of urgency, and cultivating your dreams and a true sense of self; a time to explore your sexuality to the highest degree to which you are comfortable. It is a time to make the rules not follow them; whatever it is that you need.

As women, we have biological clocks that keep on ticking, and we have this imaginary timeline that can make dating feel more urgent. Like your racing against time, and you do not tolerate or desire to have your time wasted. It is a delicate difficult balance of being selfish and understanding.

Please dispel the myth that you have a timeline; there is no such thing, take your time. When you are in your late 20s you may feel like settling, because you have probably witnessed old high school classmate; family friends, and even your friends get married and have kids.

Everything happens as, and when it should for everyone. You might catch yourself feeling like you need to play catch up to your age mates; comparing where there are in their love lives with where you currently are. The comparison will steal your joy, and make you feel like you need to settle. I cannot emphasize this enough: do what makes YOU comfortable and happy.

Societal expectations of what a woman should be doing at a patricidal age are misleading, and one dimensional in the way it views of women’s contribution to society.

It is a long dry wait but you need to find something genuine and authentic. The level of maturity that comes with your late 20 makes you realize that there are a lot of components that come with being in a relationship.

If you want casual sex, there is nothing wrong with that, as long as you are two mature adults, that have a mutual understanding of what it is you are signing up for. If a commitment is what you are looking for, communicate that. It saves the feelings and time of all parties involved.

Dating in your late 20s is not a time to fool around with each other’s feelings, like in your early 20s. It is a time for exploring with what it is you want, during that particular phase in your life. Have fun.