Consent Isn't as Complicated as People Make It out to Be

Consent is sexy. Not only that, but it's mandatory. Without a yes, it's a no, as simple as that. But there's been this awkwardly complicated aura built around it, as if it's some sort of mystic situation no one can quite grasp. Obviously, to some people, it's common sense, but others often like to hide behind this "reputation" it has. "It's not all black and white, you know?" or "It's all just so.. complicated." are more often than not used as shields from social repercussions and judgment. But the thing is, consent is simple, so simple really, that it can easily be explained to children without anything turning into a never-ending spiral of awkward questions. In my opinion, a society focused and well-educated on consent is extremely easy to obtain, however, not without any change.

Firstly, we need to start at the source of the problem, which is the dreaded question: "What even is consent anyway?" Well consent, or to be a bit more specific, two-party consent, it when two people about to have sexual intercourse authorize each other to go on further. Consent can be revoked at any point during the actual intercourse, which does mean someone could suddenly want to stop right in the middle, and continuing nonetheless is rape.To quote Amber Rose:

"If i'm laying down with a man, butt naked and his condom is on and I say 'You know what? No, I don't want to do this, I changed my mind'. That means no! [...] That's it!"

Consent can only truly take place when both people have a clear state of mind, which means that if any of the parties are intoxicated in any way, their consent is invalid. To simplify, anything other than a clear, coherent, active "YES!"is not consent. It's also worth mentioning the importance of enthusiastic consent. Which is when someone shows the actual desire to have intercourse. It makes the difference between an "I don't mind..." and a "Heck yeah!" Which one would you rather?

Secondly, we need to take rape and sexual assaults cases more seriously and have more just sentences for rapists and aggressors. The lawsuit regarding Brock Turner is my case and point here. A university athlete rapes an intoxicated and unconscious woman, yet only gets sentenced to six months in prison, and, cherry on top, only serves three of those six months in jail. Yet as surprising as it might be, situations like these aren't as uncommon as we might think they are. How many times have you heard someone tell you that a woman could easily accuse someone of rape for their money, or even simply for fame, as some have claimed. This would be a valid argument if it wasn't for the fact that in Canada, only 6 out of 100 incidents of sexual assault are reported to the police and only 2 to 4% of all reported are false reports. To help this cause move forward, many stereotypes need to be debunked:

1. Most sexual assault survivors knew their aggressor and maybe even trusted them. (80% of assailants are friends and family of the victim)
2. Men and boys get sexually assaulted too, it's a real and present issue. (15% of sexual assault victims are boys under 16)
3. Sexual assault is something disabled people are victims of too. (83% of disabled women will be sexual assaulted during their lifetime)

And many more. Often times, the best way to get rid of those stereotypes are to look up statistics and to inform ourselves, it's literally one Google search away, I swear.

And finally, once all that is above is well understood, the only thing left is to pass on the knowledge. Sexual education and the implication of consent through it, is mandatory. It is the key to building a strong and aware society. Teaching children of all genders and sexualities the importance of consent from an early age will help future generations understand consent better than we do right now. It will ensure that this entire process doesn't ever need to be done again, it will make consent part of the society norms, which is not only ideal, but necessary to the issue at hand. Once again this needs powering through, people demanding for more sexual education classes through grade 1 to 12, continuing through college. Kids need to learn about sexual safety, of course, but they need to know more than just how to put on a condom. They need to know how to listen to and care for their partner(s), so that they can be emotionally safe as well.

In conclusion, consent truly is a great thing, and it desperately needs to be normalized and understood for it to grow out of the "reputation" it's been given over the course of history.