Consent, Consent, Consent!

Verb: Give permission for something to happen.

One of, if not the most important fundamental required to get your freak on with someone you're sexually attracted to and yet frequently misunderstood. Women have often been hurt one way or another by misunderstood consent and we need to protect them. Through my "male-lense," which is at times goofy, barbaric and yet sensible, I will explain how to understand and ask for consent as education is important and hopefully this is the first of many.

Consent isn't a one-time thing within a single interaction between yourself and your sexual partner. Neither is it like asking to go out to the mall ONCE or signing ONE signature in order for you to take part in an activity. Its a succession(yes, multiple). In layman's terms, we're always asking for consent more times than Kim Kardashian or Cristiano Ronaldo receiving notifications from 100+ million followers on Instagram. Yup, crazy, right? Wrong, it's sensible. In fact, consent is given when you speak to someone, ask for their number, ask them out, hold their hand and the list goes onnnnnnnnnnn.

What may seem confusing is nonverbal consent and unfortunately, in a world filled with communication, we lack the skill to understand body language. I'm still convinced social media is a conspiracy theory tool used to suck the fluency behind body language right outta our minds. If someone is dressed in what you may think is provocative (a short skirt, slightly exposed breast, etc) doesn't give you consent nor does being very friendly which may be mistaken for flirting. As much as ladies Shakespeare the hell out of body language with a Master's Degree in Giving Hints and a Doctorate in Shooting Your Shot, most guys still don't see the signs when you rightfully consent which may leave us still uneducated and confused and also may result in a bad experience.

I'll give you a scenario of sex being a series of approved consent from my past experience. After a night out with a friend, we decided that it would be best if she slept over because it was quite late, home was far, and Uber was too expensive for my broke behind. With rum, restlessness, and popcorn ready, we opted to watch Dave Chappelle. Well, that's what we thought (Netflix and Chill just wasn't Netflix and Chill). Having her lay her head on my chest was ridiculously comfortable and I'm sorry ,but for this article's length, I will skip straight to the consenting details. She turned around and I leaned in, she did the same and we kissed, consent. We made out and she allowed me to grope certain areas of her body, Consent. She allowed me to take her clothes off, consent. She allowed me to go down on her, consent. When she felt READY, provided I had a condom, she allowed Bobby Brown to slip into her Silicon Valley, consent. If she leaned back before kissing, or asked not to have her clothes taken off as she wasn't in the mood, or didn't allow me to touch her body, or asked to stop because she felt uncomfortable while I explored Disneyland, then I have to respect her and stop as consent has been denied even if you've been far. Continuing any further is rape and therefore an unwanted/traumatic experience for her. That at all costs cannot be allowed.

Before I forget there's the "Yes/No" thing whereby yes could mean no and no could mean yes. I bet at some point in life you received a text from a girl and she said, "You know I really didn't mean no..." WELP, take pride in that sucky feeling. Lines I easily be blurred and it's better to be safe than sorry. Ladies, try refrain from this and to guys; THIS PARAGRAPH DOES NOT SERVE AS AN EXCUSE TO CONTINUE, PERIOD! Consider that as my disclosure.

Like I said before, consent is a series of approval and even though you're in bed with your partner about to (or during) sex your partner may refuse to continue. Being around women for the majority of my 24 years of experience on Earth I have understood that they don't have the same strength nor advantages that I do, however, they are important in both life and society and as a man, it is vital that I protect them. The same applies to men, which happens less frequently, however, as people, we have to protect one another and respect when a woman or man does not allow consent. The first step of many education and not just adults but children too, so we may have a comfortable future amongst each other.