Body Image and What It Has You Believing...

Here it is... I can't speak for everyone but I know a lot of women and men feel like I do. I have friends and loved ones in the same position. So, I am speaking from my experiences but, of course, this may touch all of you.

I am fat. I know I am. I could do something to change it. I could work hard at the gym and completely change my way of eating. I could focus and knuckle down. I could do all of these things. But here is the hard truth, I don't. Life gets in my way and sometimes I just don't feel like getting out of bed much less running on a treadmill for 3 hours. So, I am fat.

Now, here is what happens when I look at myself in a mirror...

Thoughts: "You are fat. You should really lose weight. You are so lazy. You are disgusting. No wonder you can't get anywhere in life. You don't pride yourself in looking good or successful. You are fat. Who could love you this way? You are pathetic. People that say they love you, probably only love you because they pity you. You are ugly because you are so disgustingly fat."

I have problematic skin, on occasion. I wash my face daily. I use facial masks. I take vitamins. I do all these things and yet if my cycle comes around or if I am high stressed I will break out.

Now, here is what happens when I look in the mirror...

Thoughts: "You are ugly. You break out like a teenager. You should be ashamed to go in public. Put more makeup on and cover up your zits. It is ridiculous you have this going on at your age. Clean your face better."

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The fact that I know things about myself. I know that I wash my face daily and there is literally nothing more I could do to help ease my breakouts with products. However, I do know that I could probably eat more healthy and have more water intake and it would improve a bit as well. But with that aside, the facts are I know these things. I know that it is nature. I know that it could be genetics. There are a number of scientific things that contribute. My intelligent brain tells me this. However, my heart has another explanation altogether as you can tell from the "thoughts" I have in the mirror.

Same goes for me knowing about my weight. I know there are things I could do to "fix it". I even know that I have a thyroid condition (hypothyroidism) that makes it incredibly hard to lose weight even when medicated. It also causes tiredness and overall exhaustion. It can also contribute to weight gain. I know that I have this condition. I also know that my weight is a problem. But the fact that I beat myself up over it is not helping, and yet, I do. I have horrible thoughts about myself and my weight.

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Now, with all of that being said, do you understand why having those thoughts it makes me extremely depressed and unmotivated to do anything? My body image directly effects my emotional and mental state. It always has. I mean I think these horrid things about myself. How could it not? Even with my brain knowing better, my heart is breaking because I view myself so atrociously. If we can mentally fix ourselves and change the view and perspective we have of ourselves... we could essentially give ourselves a chance to flourish.

I want to flourish. I want to be successful. Don't you? So, the next time I stand in the mirror, whether I have hit the gym or I've ate ice cream that day because I had a bad day, I am going to say... "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL." Until I listen. I hope that you all can do the same. I am beautiful. So. Are. You!

Do not let the way you look dictate your life. Do not feel just because you don't look like every supermodel that you are ugly. You are beautiful.