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Being a Plus-Size Boudoir Model

Yeah, that's a thing.

By Laura BrunsPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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Photographer: Hailey Glewwe

I adore lingerie. The lace, velvet, and sheer materials encompassing my body make me feel sexy and desirable. Unfortunately, because I'm a bigger girl, I don't have many options for lingerie. I work in a lingerie store, and we have our clothes split into plus size and regular size. The plus size section takes up three or four racks, while the regular section takes up around twenty. It's hard to find sexy things when your body is bigger.

When I started working at the lingerie store, I went nuts with buying lingerie. I tried on everything under the sun. Bodysuits, chemises, teddies, gowns—you name it. Every chance I had, I was trying on something new. Every paycheck I earned, I was treating myself to a new piece.

My partner loved the confidence I showed in myself. He also didn't mind the fun pictures I shared of myself modeling my new lingerie. But with so much beautiful lingerie, I got tired of the same old smartphone-quality pictures in the same dirty hallway mirror. I decided to get in contact with a photographer friend and asked her for a favor. She had never done boudoir before, but maybe she would be willing to try something new with me?

The shoot was a success. We filled a memory card with gorgeous photos, splattered with lace, velvet, stretch marks, and smiles. I was beyond thrilled. I felt incredibly beautiful, and I decided to share my pictures with everyone.

I posted some photos on Instagram and Twitter. The responses were overwhelming. People loved my body just as much as I did. They thought the pictures were beautiful and were excited that I felt comfortable enough to share them. There were some negative reactions, though. One "friend" asked me if it took a lot of confidence to be a boudoir model... "You know, since you're so fat."

When I asked my friend to take my picture, my size never occurred to me. I didn't think, "These photos will be taboo because I weigh more than 'x' pounds." I didn't think my sexy photos would be any less sexy than a thin woman's. Apparently, that was a thought running through some people's minds.

No matter what I put on, someone won't like it. No matter what I weigh, someone will think I'm too fat or too thin. It's impossible to make people happy. People will only be happy if they see that I'm happy, so that's my goal: to make myself happy in this body that I'm stuck with.

Being a boudoir model has made me unbelievably proud of my own body. I feel sexy in my skin without anyone else telling me how to feel. I want to do things for myself and make myself happy. I want to take more pictures for myself, not for anyone else. Even if a picture turns out poorly, I still love it, because it's me. All of the pictures are 100 percent me.

Doing a boudoir photo shoot is a way to be vulnerable, and it's also incredibly rewarding. As humans, we tend to guard ourselves. We try to protect ourselves as much as we can. It's hard to protect yourself when you're naked in front of a camera. Being naked or almost naked is insanely vulnerable. The camera can see my lumps, bumps, scars, cellulite, any dark hairs, unwanted rolls, and everything in between... But none of that seems to matter when you see the final result. Everyone under the sun has rolls and blemishes and scars; it's part of being a human. When you take the time to put all of the things that scare you the most out on display, and people praise you for it all, I can't even tell you how rewarding that feeling is.

I'll be honest, it feels even better as a plus-size woman. We're often told we aren't beautiful, we don't have a place in this world, that our bodies are undesirable. To do a photo shoot concentrating on your body, and then be praised for it? Wow. That feels good. Even just to take the pictures. To do something you never thought you could do. Most plus-size women are told they could never, ever model. Be your own model. Put on what makes you feel sexy and pose for the camera. Have your own boudoir session to celebrate YOU. It feels incredible.

I think everyone, no matter what gender you identify with, should be their own boudoir model. You don't need to do it for anyone but yourself. You don't need to show anyone your pictures. You don't even need to tell anyone you did it. Whatever works for you; whatever helps bring your confidence up is key. We all have model bodies. We all have boudoir bodies. We all have lingerie bodies. It feels good to see yourself as sexy. Whatever makes you feel sexy? Put that on, and strike a pose.

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About the Creator

Laura Bruns

A feminist who writes a lot of shit. I get lonely, so I turn to my pen and paper.

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