Viva is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.
How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.
How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.
To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.Show less
Why is our appearance so important?
Why is the size of the jeans you are wearing the only thing that matters?
The judgement of others has become crucial to us. The most important thing is to look good and to fulfill beauty standards. We are comparing ourselves to friends, family members and even to people on the streets.
“She’s so pretty, I want to be like her.”
“Wow, I wish my muscles would be like his.”
These are the first thoughts that pop up in our minds. We don’t think about their feelings or their stories. We only care how they look.
Growing up with beauty ideals was not always easy for me. My mother always wanted me to be skinny, because in her opinion, it is only possible to wear pretty clothes when you are skinny. Many other people share the same opinion as my mother. You are only pretty if you are a size zero—not more or less.
Imagine your own mother telling you, "You are not pretty because you are not skinny enough."
I myself also wanted to loose weight, but it is really not as easy as depicted. I compared myself to friends from school, people on the streets and to influencers from social media.
I didn’t love my body, I was not confident. All in all, I just thought that I was ugly.
I tried a lot to slim down. I tried diets, workouts, skipping meals and I even put my finger in my throat to throw up the food I just consumed. I didn’t care if it was bad for my body, I only cared if I looked thinner and better. Although doing all of this, my mother never found out about it. She was still telling me to eat less and to lose weight. She didn’t even know what I was going through...
Honestly I don’t even blame her for her way of thinking. She's not entirely wrong. We live in a society where inner values don't count at all. Everybody is saying that they don't care how people look. They only care about their character, but this is just a lie. If you don't look good enough, people don't even give you a chance to show your character. They don't want to get to know you.
Not only that, the fashion industry prefers designing and producing clothes for skinnier people more than they do for curvy people. Our society is cruel and the most important thing is to earn money. "Bigger" clothes need more fabric and it is more expensive.
Our beauty standards changed throughout time and the most ironic thing is that in the past it was better to look curvier—which was a sign of wealth. Only the rich people could afford spending much money on food. Therefore, being curvy meant that they had a lot to eat.
But how did we end up, having such hideous ideals?
So many girls are putting their lives in danger, many young girls are developing eating disorders because they don't want to eat, afraid they might gain weight and not being pretty anymore.
But for what?
Only for fitting in, fulfilling the beauty standards and "looking good." Is this really worth it?
We all should focus more on the important things and be more confident about ourselves. We don’t have to look good or be skinny in order to accomplish many great things in life.
We should all start loving and embracing our bodies!
We cannot gain the confidence for our body in one day. It is an open ended process, we are changing every day, our body is also changing every day.
I am still struggling to love myself for who I am and for how I look.
But I believe one day I can truly love myself and you can too.
That’s the most important thing you can do in your life—loving yourself for who you are.