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Am I Beautiful?

Or am I healthy?

By Elizabeth RoxPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Thank you webster.

Today I can honestly say I feel quite beautiful. It is, of course, due to the fact that my insides feel good and not because I look good on the outside. I ordered a salad instead of pizza and why? Because it is healthy, that's why. I am not thick or thin but somewhere in between 106 and 160. At one point I was 160 because I was full of bad foods and an equally terrible lifestyle.

Inevitably my body caught up with me and my gallbladder gave up on processing any food whatsoever. I had no idea it was simply that and ended up at 106 pounds in what felt like such a short time that it showed. My ribs showed. My shoulders looked like bony little reminders that I used to be "thick."

I remember eating jello and crackers when my gallbladder was finally removed and not being able to move. I had to work out and eat right every single day just to gain 20 pounds, to get where I am right now. Since I've moved out of where I was at the time which also had a toxic impact on my body and mind, many girls have poked and prodded at the idea of me being so "skinny."

When really I'm not that skinny I'm just skinnier than most people. I'm not anorexic looking anymore. My family isn't still asking if I'm on drugs anymore either so I am in fact quite satisfied with my weight.

It does leave a sour taste in my mouth when other grown women complain because I'm skinnier than they are. It also hurts my guts to know that they're still saying they wish they had a body like mine. This hurt, this body still hurts. I still have trouble swallowing food sometimes. It doesn't always stay down.

I think it's insane how centuries ago women wore corsets that smashed their internal organs to look like a coke bottle. I did it simply by having my gallbladder give up on me. But they did and to this day girls are doing so much just to be thin.

On the other hand, we have a society of women shaming other women for being skinny. Before you jump to the conclusion that I am trying to insult a bunch of people, keep reading. Why? Because we as a society are taught to attack anything that isn't ourselves. And there are women who are proud to be thick because they are thick.

There's nothing wrong with pride.

And there is also nothing wrong with wanting to be aesthetically pleasing to the eye, even if that means losing a few pounds. In some cases, it can even mean to gain a few as well.

There is something wrong with hurting yourself. If you don't lead a healthy lifestyle and end up hurting your body to stay thick or thin, either way you will suffer. That'd be the reason to tell someone to grab a salad instead of a pizza slice.

Look at yourself for a minute. Is it really important to impose your opinions of thickness or thinness onto someone else? I honestly feel that being healthy is more important.

But I'm not going to impose my idea onto you simply because it is my idea. Are you not a free person?

So is the girl who ate pizza instead of salad, and I didn't make her feel like less of a woman because of it.

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About the Creator

Elizabeth Rox

I just love words.

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