#YouToo

This past summer, I was working at a summer camp at an international school in Tokyo. This was the third and final time that I was working at this camp, and I had so much fun teaching kids about black history, building rockets, and enjoying sports day.

On the last day of camp, we always have a staff get-together at a bar to enjoy some drinks and celebrate the end to an exhausting, intense, but also extremely successful five week camp. Whilst I was sat down and chatting to my colleagues, one of my higher-ups arrived, very drunk. At first, it was just a handshake that was a little too long, then, a hug that was a little too tight. Eventually, it came to inappropriate comments about my body, and uninvited sexual advances.

I felt uncomfortable, but in the moment, I forgot about all of my Krav Maga training, and I didn’t know how to react. Sitting next to me was another one of my male co-workers, who awkwardly laughed along with my boss, and made no attempt to intervene. So despite that inner feeling of “wrong," I let it be.

A report by Statistics Canada states that 635,000 incidents of sexual assault were reported by Canadians in 2014, the only type of crime that has not decreased in rate since 2004. Clearly, we aren’t making much progress. Moreover, over 80% of incidents were not reported to the police, and one of the most common reasons given by victims was that the crime was “minor." Holly Johnson, an associate professor of criminology at the University of Ottawa, said that victims often think “that this is something that just happens."

Recently, the accusations of sexual assault against Harvey Weinstein have opened up public conversations about sexual harassment and sexual assault. However, whilst these sharing of stories and open discussions are great, we have to remember that it doesn’t stop there. Speaking up about it is important, but it’s only the beginning of a long process of prevention.

Preventing sexual assault is a complex issue, but a crucial part of it is what we do as individuals in our everyday lives. A 2013 study by Bennet, Banyard, and Garnhart of college students found that the most common barriers for bystanders to intervene in incidents were: one, the lack of skills to intervene and two, a lack of felt responsibility. Let’s break that down.

First, the lack of skills. Intervention isn’t actually that complicated. Of course, there are times when there are serious safety concerns when you don’t feel comfortable stepping in directly. In that case, it’s best to call the police or security. However, there are other ways to intervene without directly addressing the perpetuator. Strike up a conversation with that person who looks uncomfortable with the unwanted touching. Help them get away from the situation; help them find a different seat on the bus. If you hear your friends or peers make inappropriate comments or go too far with someone who isn’t consenting, call them out.

Second, the lack of felt responsibility. Maybe if it’s a stranger, you don’t know them, you don’t feel like you need to act on their behalf. After all, you might think that what’s happening is wrong, but it’s not like you’ll see that person again. Even if you know the person, you might feel like it’s not your place, but it is. That person is someone’s child. Maybe they’re a parent, a sibling, a student, a friend. What if it was someone you knew? Your individual actions are crucial in order to create a greater cultural paradigm shift that our society badly needs.

When the #MeToo campaign swept the Internet, I didn’t share my story, because I didn’t think it was “significant” enough in this world where such experiences were so normalized. Today, I challenge all of us to start changing this normalization. This isn’t a problem that only affects some people, it impacts every one of us. It’s not just MeToo, it’s YouToo.