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How To Have the Greatest, Most Mind-Blowing Sex Ever!

Courtesy of Oprah Winfrey and Harvey Weinstein

By Joel EisenbergPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Don’t be shocked by the image. It’s not new. I am not implying anything negative or questionable by including the above photo in this story. Achievers in the film and television businesses know one another, and are frequently cordial at parties.

Easy.

I am deliberately including the photo, however—nobody is twisting my arm—to make a point: Strange associations abound in the media business, and the anti-Oprah contingent is today having an online field day with this one. By including the image herein I want to spin internet hatred into something positive.

Further, I promise the headline is not entirely click-bait, and will tie together by the end. We’ll begin here, in earnest.

Singer-songwriter Tori Amos once asked, “How can I be a sacred being and a hot pussy?”

What would be your takeaway in 2018 if that question was asked of you? When I saw that headline on the cover of British rock magazine “Q” 20 years ago, the first thing that came to my mind was: Love that. She has balls.

I was considerably less-evolved in 1998.

Let’s get this out of the way: I cannot deliver to you a “how to guide for mind-blowing sex.” Sorry. What I consider as such you may not, and vice-versa.

My preference is to “side door” the issue by discussing evolving attitudes. By talking about respect. If mind-blowing sex ensues following your read, mazel tov. Send me a check with many zeroes to express your appreciation.

For now...

I am writing this the morning after the particularly stirring 75th annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony, which will assuredly prove, in time, to have been a cultural touchstone. The love and admiration of the diverse crowd towards Oprah, who ruled the show’s platform not unlike a particularly charismatic future Presidential candidate, while reinforcing the power of women (#TimesUp), resulted in an unusual pandemonium upon her exiting the stage. The usually revered Ron Howard and Natalie Portman barely registered while reading the Best Director nominees (though Natalie did take a shot at the “all male nominees”); such was the power of Oprah’s words.

I immediately posted on Facebook thereafter: “Oprah is kicking it right now. Hers is going to go down in the annals of award speeches. The response is through the roof. Good for her using her power this way.”

This would not have happened at this time, though, if it wasn’t for Harvey Weinstein. I grieve for his victims, and yet through the horror some good has come:

Change. Much-needed, long-overdue change.

So what does this have to do with the topic? How did we transition from mind-blowing sex to The Golden Globe Awards?

I said it. Maybe you missed it. Here it is again: 2018 has arrived, and with it a call for women worldwide to seize their power. Guys, deal with it. The women of our world have, finally, earned your respect. Begrudge them if you so choose. That would be your loss. Based on a cursory read of social media threads prior to writing this, indeed some men feel something more than resentment. They feel threatened.

Why? Seriously. Why?

Ever hear the adage, “Happy life, happy wife?” That’s the point. If you’re single, gay, bi... What does it matter? You meet a happy, powerful woman, comfortable in her skin, ambitious, and possessed of a voice. She knows what she wants.

Maybe she’s ferocious. All the better.

And then she garners a great respect for you, because you treat her with every iota of respect she deserves. You engage in a partnership, maybe you fall in love...

And that right there may just spark the best sex of your life.

That tie from the headline to now? Neither as loose as it may appear on the surface, nor that much of a stretch.

Think about it.

Harvey Weinstein is a son of a bitch who should spend the rest of his natural life behind bars. Oprah Winfrey, kudos to you for once again doing your part to change the world.

As for me, I was raised well and so I learned these lessons early. I remain happily married to a strong, determined woman. What goes on privately from there is, frankly, not your business.

I will say this much: I only wish the same for anyone reading this.

feminism
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About the Creator

Joel Eisenberg

Joel is a writer-producer, and partner in TV development group Council Tree Productions. He has developed projects for Ovation TV, TNT, Decades TV and FOX Studios, among others.

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