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Fat Girl Vs. Beautiful Girl

The External Female Struggle

By Jennifer RPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Every girl is beautiful!

Being fat — No... having fat makes you "fat" and therefore I am a "fat girl" and have been all my life — or so I was told. It's not as much fun being the "big girl" as it is being the "big guy," for one is a compliment while to the other is considered "polite." This is a prose poem about Fat Girl.

Fat Girl looks back at pictures and home videos of when she was younger and "thought she was fat"... but wasn't, thinking, "If I only knew how skinny I was. Why didn't anyone tell me that I was pretty?"

Fat Girl always seems to attract skinny friends, like she's looking for someone who needs it more.

Fat Girl also attracts skinny boyfriends. Not sure how that happens, but... that's cool. But, it makes Fat Girl uncomfortable to be naked and exposed in front of Skinny Boyfriend. What if Skinny Boyfriend doesn't like what he sees under the baggy clothes? Oh, did I mention, Fat Girl is also a Tom Boy?

Tom Boy Fat Girl uses her Tom Boy status to wear men's clothes and therefore hide her fat. She convinces herself that she doesn't like "girlie" things like dresses or skirts. She doesn't like to do her makeup. She doesn't like the look of high heels. But in reality, Fat Girl does like skirts and dresses, but her thighs chafe easily and she would rather be comfortable than feel pretty for an afternoon and go home with bleeding blisters. Fat Girl really does like to do her makeup, but it makes her break out and look uglier than she already feels. Because... her face is her only redeeming feature, and she must protect it. Fat Girl would LOVE to wear heels! So sparkly and sexy. But they hurt Fat Girl's feet when she walks for too long. So she sticks with flats that make her look... ordinary.

Fat Girl got skinny once! She worked so hard! Harder than she had ever worked at her body in her life. Fat Girl was not "skinny," but Fat Girl... for once... LOVED her body! Fat Girl could have walked down the street naked and not cared who gasped. She was Beautiful. Fat Girl liked to sunbathe naked in her backyard. Fat Girl was Beautiful. Fat Girl could get dressed up to go dancing with other girls and feel good about herself in the light instead of sticking to dark corners. Fat Girl was Beautiful. No longer Fat Girl, now, New and Improved Beautiful Girl went to buy a new dress. She found one of black and white that she thought looked meh. But she tried it on thinking, "I am Beautiful Girl! Go for it!" Beautiful Girl pulled the dress over her head, adjusted the fabric, and gasped at her reflection! She could hardly recognize herself. She was so, completely, and utterly... beautiful! She stood in the dressing room a little longer, twirling and waving the hem of her dress too and fro, waltzing with her glorious new reflection. Beautiful Girl cried tears of joy!

Everything was right with the world because Fat Girl was no more! Beautiful, Happy, Content Girl had taken her place! Until she met Fast Food Boy. He didn't like to eat well or go to the gym. He lived far away and had no transportation so Beautiful Girl had to drive to visit him. Beautiful Girl's lifestyle started to slack. Her muscles weakened and her belly grew. Beautiful Girl was changing back into Fat Girl.

Beautiful Girl tried to fight it and was able to bounce back some over the course of a year or so. But Beautiful Girl never got back into her routine. She made every excuse in the book not to, legitimate and bullshit. Beautiful Girl melted away into Fat Girl once more.

Fat Girl stayed.

Fat Girl won't go away.

Fat Girl wants to work out instead of sitting on the couch watching Sherlock but can't seem to pull away.

Fat Girl wants to fit into her black and white dress again.

Fat Girl wants to completely submerge herself when she takes a bubble bath.

Fat Girl wants to stop staring at all her "skinny clothes" at the back of the closet.

Fat Girl is tired of wearing the same ten tops over and over.

Fat Girl wants... Fat Girl wants... Fat Girl misses Beautiful, Confident, Sure of Herself, Doesn't Give a Shit What Anyone Says Girl.

She wants her back, even just a little.

This poem was inspired by another. The link is below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxgpCfPqQpk&t=1s

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About the Creator

Jennifer R

I was born in New York and raised in South Florida. I enjoy writing as a hobby and a means to transmit knowledge and wisdom obtained over the years. I love animals - they're better than humans. I can't stand it when people are late.

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