Beautifully Silent Part 1

I have tried to fight the currents of life, from wanting to keep something how it is to having something ripped from your grasp. When you are young, you don't know much; you only know who to love, who to trust, and your mind thinks that everything is completely perfect. I was young when I thought my world was, until I was older did I realize it wasn't. So many changes had to be made, none of them where mine. I was born into society, and because I was young, I had no idea how I had to fit into the world. My parents where rich, so they gave me everything I could want. I had the best tutors, all of them said I was an extremely fast learner.

My mother always bought me the finest materials, the most beautiful dresses, and she always told me to keep them clean. I had servants waiting on me hand and foot, always waiting for me to say something so they could get it done. I was never hungry, I always had the best dishes served to me day and night. Nothing could prepare me for the days ahead, when my perfect world shattered.

I started noticing the changes on my 10th birthday, my mother started scolding in a manner I had never heard. She would pull me aside and tell me to be a more presentable lady instead of a meandering child. I had no idea how to act more like a lady, I had always been told I was a child. After that first incident, my mother awoke me one morning and told me to get dressed. Having my hair finally done, she pulled me along into the foyer. It was there that my world would be shattered, forever.

He was dressed in a fine suit, a smile that could make anyone blush. My mother introduced him as Mr. Aldrich. I curtsied and as I came up he grabbed my hand and turned it over to plant a kiss on the top. Immediately my parents left us alone and he asked to see a tour of our lovely home. I quickly obliged and showed him around, the rest of that day couldn't have been better.

A few weeks later after our first few lessons, I noticed things where getting a little strange. Once when we where practicing our eating techniques, he had shooed away all of the helpers out of the room. I immediately felt a cold feeling overcome me. I set down my fork and was about to get up, when I felt his hand press down on my shoulder. "Now now, there is no reason to get up," he said as he began touching my hair. I felt my spine shiver even as he told me to pick up the fork and continue my lesson. But, how does one concentrate on a lesson while you are also having your hair and shoulders touched?

Later after the lesson, I went to my parents to ask them about it. They laughed at me and said I was only having infatuations about Mr. Aldrich. I tried my best to believe them, but after a few days turned into weeks and months, I knew it wasn't infatuations. The lessons got to the point where I had to force myself to stay still and do the lessons that he wanted me to do. Now, instead of just my hair and shoulders, I felt his hands everywhere; even in places I didn't want.

My 11th birthday comes around along with a beautiful light blue dress, the most beautiful I had ever seen. My mother told me that later on this year, I would be going with Mr. Aldrich to a school for young girls to help them with their education. I didn't want to go with Mr. Aldrich, especially with the way he treats me. It was then that I tried to explain to my mother what was going on, and sadly she brushed it away. "Nonsense, Mr Aldrich is one of the finest professors England has seen in ages. You mustn't let your wild ideas get the better of you. I have made arrangements for you to go there with him tonight." I nearly fainted, I felt so broken.

I watched the party fly before my eyes, and watched helplessly as my things where moved into trunks and put on one of my parents finest carriages. One the moment came and Mr. Aldrich opened the carriage door, I turned back to my mother one last time. "I know my pet, I was nervous my first time going off to school like this. But I promise you, you are in very good hands." She smiled and engulfed me in a hug before whispering to me, "There is nothing I can do for you, my sweet one." It was then that I realized, she had believed me all along. She had listened intently as I explained what was going on. Only now did I know the truth, there was truly nothing she could do to help me.

I gripped the carriage door as I hoisted myself in, Mr. Aldrich coming in behind me and closing the door, a proud smile was on his face. I knew that he had won, but I wasn't about ready to give up without a fight. After a few hours on the road, I felt the carriage begin to slow down. The driver said that we would be stopping to water the horses and for him to relieve himself. I took that as my opportunity and got and reached for the carriage door. Mr. Aldrich got to it before I did, "Now, is this the way to treat a friend who was going to give you a special birthday present?"

I felt so nauseous and quickly turned around for the other door, that was a very bad mistake. I felt my body hit the floor, he was on top of me. He turned me over and I opened my mouth to scream. I felt his hand clasp over it as I felt him lift my skirts. I felt tears come to my eyes, this wasn't how I wanted to loose. I began kicking, trying to claw his face with my fingers. A moment later my body is torn in half as I felt vomit come up into my throat and fast movement in my lower body. I can't fight anymore, and I lay still until he is finished.

Afterwards, he uses a handkerchief to clean himself up and pulls my skirts back down over my legs. He picks me up and sets me back down on the seat in front of him. In that next moment, the carriage driver comes into view and asks us how we are doing. Mr. Aldrich smiles at me, "Never better." I feel a sense of guilt wash over me. Mr. Aldrich grips my knee, "Don't worry, you'll get used to it after a few more times." I doubled over and puked all over his shoes, I watch his eyes turn into a fiery red. "Don't ever do that again."

Weeks go by at the school, the same things remain. I am completely quiet now, I can't talk to anyone. I lie in my letters to my parents, I can't let them know the real truth. I know I am not the only victim, I have seen a few others that have the same gazed look as I do; but what can anyone do? We are children, we are to remain silent unless spoken to. My 12th birthday comes and so do my parents, I plaster on a fake smile. I can't let them know what truly lies in this place. I watch my mothers' face, of how she watches mine. I am too still and she knows something is wrong. As soon as I am done talking to my father, he leaves the room, leaving my mother alone with me. She walks to me and engulfs me into a hug, I feel the urge to cry but I don't; I am not weak. Lifting my chin, she looks into my eyes. "Your Father and I will come up with a solution for this, I promise you." I nod my head as I feel her plant a kiss on my cheek. I watch her leave and wish with all my heart that she could stay.

It is a few months later and something tragic has happened. One of the others had decided to take her pain into her own hands. I say a silent prayer as I watch them carry her away. I see Mr. Aldrich standing in the doorway, a look of sadness plastered on his smug face. I walk back into my room, my head spinning for answers about how to reveal the wolf inside the sheep's wool without anyone else getting hurt. I know I have to do something, the truth had to come forth before the madness ensued. One night, I hear Mr. Aldrich come into my room. I have gotten to the point where I don't fight anymore, it makes it easier. While he is busy, my head is spinning about ways to get the truth revealed. When I hear him button himself, I turn the other way so as to make him think that I am asleep. He leaves the room and I immediately reach for my candle. Going to my desk, I reach for the journal that I had written everything down in. Everything that nobody knew about.

I feel myself being shook awake, and I look up. It is one of the other girls, sadly I didn't know her name. "You better have a good place to put that at, if he sees that you have one, he'll burn it." I nodded my head and closed the journal and put it back in its secret place. "I'm Victoria, what is your name?" I look at her then down at my crossed fingers.

"Josefina, and I am 12 years old."

Victoria nods, "How long for you?"

I turn my head to look out the window. "Too long."

She nods, "Do you have any sort of idea planned out?"

I shake my head, "Just some scattered thoughts. I wish we had more evidence."

She removed herself from the wall, "Maybe this will be enough." She handed me a piece of paperwork, a doctor's invoice form what it appeared to be. "Go on, read it." I immediately skimmed the the paragraphs carefully until I knew what this was.

"You are with child?"

She nodded, "Four months to be exact, I have written to my parents and told them about the child. To keep me and them from being disgraced the have decided for an arranged marriage for me and my child."

I looked at her dumbfounded, "How is this supposed to help us?"

She looked out the door to make sure no one was coming before she handed me the stack of papers hiding from underneath her skirts. "These are all the girls just like you and me that that monster has put through." She handed them to me as I looked back at her. "You are the smartest one that he has tried messing with, I think you can figure it out." I nodded and began going through all the pages, not even noticing Victoria leave the room. I didn't know weather or not, that would be the last time seeing her.

It is Christmas time and the weather is getting colder, and so is the tension between New England and the old. King George the III had begun to put a heavy tax load upon the New Englanders, and the tensions where getting stronger because of it. I am sitting at my desk looking over the paperwork that was given to me. It had been a little difficult at first trying to find a good hiding place, then I had decided to open my journals' hiding spot just a tad bigger for the papers. As I am looking them over, I suddenly feel my lower region begin to cramp up. Thinking that I was finally having what the other girls called cycles, I quickly stood up only to feel a gush of water and blood begin to pool out of me. I feel my stomach cramp again but this time, with an altogether new pain. This pain made me clench my teeth as it felt like something was being pulled out of me. I quickly put everything into my secret hiding place and got up to reach for the door. Another sharp pain hit, and this time, I felt like my body was telling me to push. Fear crept into me as I realized what was going on. I looked down at my thinness, and nearly fainted. How could I had carried a child and not have noticed it? Another pain hit along with a need to push.

Gripping my bed frame, I waited for the next contraction, and then did as my body willed. Pulling myself onto the mattress, I pushed my nightdress up and my knees apart. I felt another contraction even as I forced myself to push. A very small head came between my inner legs and I gasped from fright, the child was much too small and fear gripped me wholeheartedly. I felt another contraction and I forced myself to push yet again. I didn't know how long it was, but in the distance I heard people talking. No not talking screaming, screaming for me, for help. I felt another contraction tear into me and I bore down into it with everything that I was. I felt my body scream with my voice as the child slid out of me and into the cool winter air. I looked down and to my shock and amazement, the child was moving. With the gentlest of hands, I carefully gripped her precious small form just as I began to hear a wondrous cry escape her tiny mouth. A wave of shock overtook me, along with guilt. Even though I felt a complete sense of love and wonder toward this new babe, the father was surely not to be pleased.

As I was now cradling her, the head physician came in and nearly fainted. He immediately cleared his throat before turning to all the other girls. "If you all don't mind, I need to discuss something to this young woman alone." Just as he was closing the door, I heard a voice further down the way.

"No, you do not, Doctor." Victoria immediately came into view, and with her was a newborn babe just like mine.

"Miss Victoria, I didn't know that you were coming back for a visit." I heard one of the Professors say to her. She turned and looked at him before turning around to an unknown man behind her. Handing the child to him, she cleared her throat before turning to me.

"That girl is as innocent as any other girl that has been helplessly raped and or molested by Professor Francis Aldrich." Everything went stone quiet, anyone could her a pin drop. "I have the proof right her in my hands, and I can assure you. Half of these women and young girls can also vouch for my testimony, as well as Miss Josefina."

At that moment, Francis came forth. "You are a lying hussy, who is willing to put the blame on anyone because you would lure any man if it meant that you could do good with your grading."

The head Professor looked at the document, and turned to the other women and young girls. "Please, if what this young woman says is to be true. Those of you who have suffered, please come forth with the evidence. So the truth may be brought into the light." Nearly a 3rd of them went out immediately to retrieve the evidence that they had so preciously hidden from the sight of unwanted eyes. The head professor looked upon Mr. Aldrich and immediately called the guards. Grabbing each one of his arms, they held him fast so that he truly couldn't escape.

In what felt like forever, the girls returned with piles of journals, diaries, and physician notes, and placed them in the Head Professors' hands. A look of horror and shock washed over him and he instructed the men to take Mr. Aldrich to the nearest prison. Obeying, I began to hear Francis cursing blasphemies toward us all as his voice slowly drowned out of ear shot. He quickly scanned each document before turning to me. "You, Miss Josefina, I hope that you also have evidence about this horrific act." I nodded my head and motioned for Victoria to come into my room and grab the papers that where hidden in my hiding spot. "As a matter of fact, I believe that I also have enough evidence to have the head physician arrested as well." I watched as the Doctors' throat bobbed from being found out. The Professor motioned for two more guards who quickly gripped him by each arm and turned him toward the Professor. "Did you know of such ill acts going on beneath my University?" He nodded and the Professor let go of him and looked away in discuss. "Take him to the same place you took the other." The guards nodded and left without another word. Suddenly I felt a slight movement below my ribs, and gasped when I realized I had forgotten something.

"Professor, I hope it isn't too much to ask, but may I have a physician come to see if my child and I are alright?"

He turned toward us and nodded his head, "Leonard, could you please run out and fetch us a good physician who could help Miss Josefina?" He nodded and turned on his heel, but not before I caught a quick glimpse of a warm gentle smile. "Miss Josefina, do you know what it is you will be naming your child?"

I looked down and a knowing smile crossed my face, and saw a little me starring right back up. "I think I will call her Felicity." Victoria came over right next to me, and gave me a warm hug.

"My husband and I have plenty of room. You will not be forced to give her up if you come with us. You and your child will be happy." I looked down at Felicity, I couldn't leave her, especially with her being so tiny. I knew though, if I was to go home, she would be ripped from my grasp and there was no chance if I would ever see her again. I knew that I was still considered a child, but now I had a child that needed me. I knew then what my answer was.

"I would be delighted Victoria." Victoria squealed with joy before embracing me in a warm hug, one that I had been longing for for so long.

It was a few hours later before the physician came and looked at Felicity and I. He told us he didn't see anything wrong only that her birthweight was a little on the low side. I had delivered a healthy beautiful baby girl, and I was so happy to call her my own. Now, it was time for the healing to begin in both of our lives.